journal: creeping along

out my window: yep, snow.  wtf.  it is annoying but at the same time, i am grateful for still being able to wear many disguisatory layers of clothing and not having to shave my legs yet.  you win some and you lose some i guess.

what i'm wearing: mom and dad are up and mom brought a huge bag full of clothes that are too big for her and so she is passing them to me.  let's all just take a second to join in the pathetic fact that i am fatter than my mom.  .............  thanks.  but on the bright side, i have a whole bunch of new clothes now.  although most ofthem are still too small for me, i am shrinking steadily and will fit into them eventually.  so today, i am wearing my "new" pink sweater and grey work pants.  what a novelty: a sweater that doesnt have a thousand little balls on it from our crappy washer and dryer!  horay!

the baby toddler: no walking yet, unless you count that awesome little crab walk thing he does or the fact that he can hold on to stuff and shuffle all over the place.  but he'll get htere soon.  he is cutting the big teeth and has been pretty miserable the last few days with some pretty high temps and majorly increased whininess.  he's also getting really good at the whole 'i'm going to flop  myself down onteh floor in front of you and cry' business, which is just plain funny.  especially when you turn your back or walk away and he will go crying after you so he can flop down in front of your new location.  he's very determined.  he's also been showing a bit of a mean streak lately which really does concern me, i'm not sure how to fix that other than repeatedly telling him to be nice and responding with love and patience (and an offended facial expression) and hoping that he will get the picture.  i do a lot of flying by the seat of my pants.  any ideas would be appreciated.  i do try to praise him when he is being nice and tell him that whatever he is doing is very nice, it's just hard to know if he really understands it at this point. 

in the kitchen: i FINALLY got to grill out sunday and made some really good steaks.  yesterday i made bbq meatballs and egg noodles with green beans.  tonight, spinach salad and later in the week some fish.  tomorrow i'm making a roast for a friend and her girls who come and visit every wednesday.  i like food.

crafting: will work on some baby shower invites tonight and have lots of sewing projects in the works for the shower and for the man cave.  i'll be making a manly quilt for charles, lots of black fabric.  :)  hopefully he doesn't think it's lame.

reading: finished the fannie flagg book and mom brought me a couple more.  there seem to be sooo many things to do other than read, but it's nice when i get the chance.  my boss recommended the books about "how to date your son/daughter" so at some point i would like to look into those. 

bringing me joy: my husband and all his mysterious awesomeness.  lots of progress on the house.  i spent over 6 hrs working in the yard saturday and i am still sore, but it was very satisfying to have done it all myself for once and it looks a million times better.  i moved some plants around and took out some others and pruned and spruced up.  hopefully they all survive!

thinking about: previously mentioned husband and how much i want to see his handsome face and just touch him and talk to him whenever i want.  so often with cameron there are times when i think 'man!  i wish i had charles here so WE could come up with a solution to this problem!', but at the same time, i worry about when that is a reality and how it may or may not frustrate me if we do not agree.  by the time he is home, i will have done a lot of disciplining solo and i fear that it will be a difficult transition for all of us.  but no need to borrow worry i guess. 

picture to share:
installation of the child locks on the cabinets last night - cameron was most helpful to grandpa by shutting all the cabinet doors repeatedly just as grandpa got the drill bit lined up.  he's so handy.  also - baby plaid pajama pants!!!!!!!!!!!! 

journal: it's april - YAY!!!

Out my window: it's been overcast for a couple of days, we had a storm sunday night and, unless it was really really quiet, we did not get the storm we were forcast for last night.  however they're saying that tonight will be a doozy and by thursday we may have snow.  eff that.  but i guess on the bright side, snow means continued pants-wearing and continued un-shaven leg-sporting.  so whatever.  i am still fighting off the stomach virus turned cold turned sinus infection which has now turned into allergies with all the moisture in the air.  no joke - 4 boxes of kleenex in just over a week.  if it wasn't so disgusting, i would totally invest in some handkerchiefs. 
Clothing myself in: grey pants, yellow shirt with ruffles (that's right lizabeth, i'm wearing yellow ruffles.  and yes, i DID get this shirt from my mom) :)  and a black cardigan.  as i dress in the mornings i often think that my "business casual attire" would greatly benefit from a necklace at least, but i can't yet rationalize that with a little boy who would want to yank on it, etc.  but i figure as long as i have put on enough clothes to at least cover all the important parts and i mostly match, that is a victory for me and i'll worry about accessories in a few months.
Around the house: this weekend cameron took a gloriously long nap and i was able to CLEAN!!!  who knew this could be so exciting!?  i swept and mopped, vacumed and dusted and finished all the laundry.  my house smelled like pine sol all day long and it made me entirely too happy.  sunday i used his nap time to mow the grass and even got to sit on the couch and watch a movie.  it's the little things.  last night we went to walmart for some groceries and for our weekly "social outing".
The baby: he is doing better at the CDC but still not 100% adjusted.  this is week 3, but at least he does not spend all evening crying and needing to be held.  he is still pretty clingy though, but reasonably so.  he is also discovering cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and "rearrange bottom cabinets" has been on my dry erase "to do" board all week but i honestly have no idea where to put those things that need to be put up, i.e. - the food processor.  maybe i can just make a box full of blades and leave the rest of the big stuff down where it is?  i dont know, i'm still working on a plan with that. 
he is not quite walking but can do so pretty well holding on to things.  i am doing amazingly well at just letting him be.  he's smooshed his fingers in drawers a couple of times and he cries and i distract him and he gets over it and we move on.  the only thing that makes me hover is when he stands up against a wall with his back to the kitchen chairs because he could really bonk his head on them pretty hard if he fell back at all.  but for the most part, i just let him explore and hope for the best.  although his interst in the trash can does cause me a bit of alarm, i think i've played it off pretty well so far.  no major incidents.  it helps that i keep him pretty well confined to the kitchen/dining room/hallway upstairs so there isnt a whole lot of mischief to find. 
In the kitchen: i did get to make my bierocks last thursday - thanks for the recipe lizabeth!  they were u-mazing.  i took the last of them back out of the freezer last night.  they also make the perfect baby food because they have lots of veggies in them.  i used turkey meat and added carrots and peas along with cabbage.  i bought the big can of evaporated milk so i have enough left for probably another double batch which i think i may make this week.  need to get more meat. 
i have been eating very well lately, lots of salads.  i made a quick salad a couple days ago by mixing some chick peas, corn, salsa and a little bit of thousand island dressing together and putting it over a bed of red lettuce with some green onion and a little bit of cheese on top.  i have been doing a lot with dried beans lately because it's so cheap and easy.  i'm all about finding cheap ways to do stuff and getting really good at using the food i already have and not wasting it.  this is a big goal of mine so i'm pleased with how well it usually goes.  usually.
it's been a bit of a challenge now that cameron is at the CDC because they feed him a very balanced meal 2x and a snack, but it's often something that i don't feed him.  but thankfully they give me a sheet every day of what they fed him and how much he ate so i will look at that and determine if he needs more veggies or fruit or milk, etc., in the evening.  he doesn't much like meat but loves cheese and fruits and veggies. 
Crafting: not much now but there is much on the horizon.  i'm going to make a simple blanket for charles' man cave reno.  i'm also hosting a baby shower and a graduation party at the end of may/beginning of june so i will maybe get out to a fabric store this weekend because i will be making stuff for those. 

Reading: i started that fannie flagg book that mom brought up but haven't finished it.  i do my reading before bed and lately i just want to go to bed.  plus, when i read before bed, pretty soon an hour has gone by and it's really late and then i dont get nearly enough sleep. 
Bringing me joy: got to talk to charles for almost 2 hrs friday!  we speak about once a week usually for just a few minutes, so that was pretty great.  good lord i miss that man!  5 months down and it's still going entirely too slow.  but i am so thankful for such a strong relationship that we have.  whether he is by my side or not, i know that we can conquer anything together because we are such a great team. 
cameron kisses: they sure are slobbery but also wonderful.  what a beautiful thing when a little person knows what affection is and chooses on his own to give it to you.  it's very gratifying.

Thinking about: crazy SOB in n. korea and the increasing tension in that area. 
how to keep a balance with taking care of my son, my husband and myself.  i lost 6 pounds this last month (stress?  illness?  good eating habits?  who knows...)  and have yet to figure out how to fit in exercise.  eating is good, i've got that under control, but exercising means sacrificing time with cameron or sleep and neither are worth it to me to sacrifice right now.  hopefully when the weather consistently improves and cameron is not so off in the evenings, we will go on walks or something.  but for now - i'm working on being at peace with the fact that my best is good enough and that i am ok.


Pictures to share - nope - i'm at work.  although i do have some good ones on the camera to load onto FB at some point.

journal: just another day

Out my window: a bit chilly this morning but the sun is coming out and it's supposed to be almost 70 by friday.  unfortunately i'll be inside at my desk all day with my back to the window, then driving down the turnpike all evening.  but still, that's nice weather.  on a related note, the time change can bite me.
Clothing myself in: the usual - kahki pants, a blue wrap top (disguisatory clothing is good) and a maroon cardigan.  this is bloaty week so i'm feeling a lot like a stuffed sausage, but since i sit behind a desk with 2 monitors in front of me and hardly any visitors, the only one who really would notice that is me.  although as the weather warms up and long cardigans are no longer acceptable, it is beginning to occur to me that i might have to shave my legs soon.  that sucks.
Around the house: preparing for cameron's 1st birthday party in wichita!  i put together 20 treat bags and then started getting RSVPs from people with lots of kids who arent coming.  miniature containers of play dough with monkey faces anyone?  oh well.  it will be nice regardless and hopefully cameron will have fun.  it was tough to find a time that wouldnt interfere with everyone's schedule when daddy could skype for it and the time chosen has come right smack in the middle of cameron's new nap time.  we'll see how it goes.  he's a really good boy and doens't get too crazy.  mostly i'm worried about an in law who might get testy if he isn't given his required attention, but cameron's comfort is my #1 priority.  avoiding making waves with others is much further down the list.
so anyway, around the house there are a lot of party supplies and the kitchen table is covered in baby book stuff.  for some odd reason i thought it would be nice to bring out his baby book for each birthday party which means that i have to get it updated in the next 2 days.  along with everything else.
The baby: is great.  he is now standing up almost all the time and will shuffle while holding on to things.  how cool would it be if he walked at or by his party this weekend?!  he is close.  he loves being able to explore everything and has been spending a lot of time playing in his room.  he has yet to discover that the kitchen cabinets all open and is very curious about the fridge and dishwasher.  but for the most part, he plays with his toys and hangs out by himself very well.  he will start at the CDC  on post on the 25th and i'm nervous about it.  it's not the same loving home he's had thus far and i'm worried about the things he might pick up (sickness and bad habits).  but it is the only realistic option we have so we're just charging ahead and hoping for the best.  i will go this afternoon for my orientation at the facility to meet his teachers and see his room, etc.  hopefully that will put me at ease.  this is definitely one of those times when i really wish charles were here though.  he is awesome at putting me to ease when i am worked up about something like this.  havent talked to him since thursday but hopefully i will soon.
In the kitchen: chili a couple days ago and goulash last night.  cameron is 100% done with pureed foods, the homemade baby food phase sure seems to have gone quickly!  so i am having to cook more to have things he can eat.  made spinekopeta last friday and he likes that.  we're having a hard time coming up with foods to help him get his iron in, so that was good.  tonight we'll give him some goulash.  i used veggie spiral pasta and of course, ground turkey, so hopefully he enjoys that.  he really likes peas and still sweet potatoes.  oh!  and mom made some "brownies" the other day.  i seem to be rubbing off on her with the healthy foods so she used applesauce instead of oil, half the chocolate chips, added flax seed and used less flour and added carrots.  it's more cakey but it's still a guilt-free alternative when you need a chocolate fix so i'm pretty excited about it.
in the next couple of days, we'll make banana bread and chocolate and yellow cupcakes for the bday party.  it is likely taht there will be leftover cake.  darn.
Crafting: birthday treat bags afforded me the opportunity to make a pinterest project with the monkey play dough, it turned out really cute.  and i also did some sewing last weekend for some new babies.  i have been able to repurpose the extra receiving blankets i got for cameron and turn them into taggies.  i like how they turned out.  can't wait to start quilting!  but that's probably at least 8 months down the line.
Reading: nothing now.
Bringing me joy: hearing my son call for me, seeing him crawl up to me and try to climb up my leg, chasing him down the hallway crawling after him while he laughs and laughs, sending my husband special gifts to make his day, getting a nice card from a dear friend, having my mom stay with me for a month and a half to babysit and knowing that she gets to see all the new things that cameron is doing right now, having a great relationship with my mother in law, thinking about the reunion with my husband (bittersweet, but still sweet)
Thinking about: wishing i could talk to my husband more, hoping there is little to no family drama this weekend at the party and that the wifi works so that charles can "be there", looking forward to being able to exercise more somehow when the weather is nicer

Pictures to share -

1 year ago tomorrow, at 1:31 in the morning, we welcomed our little boy.  i knew he would be perfect for us and was likely to be a good kid with a great personality but i never could have dreamed he would be as amazing as he is.  he is truly halarious and adventerous and so smart.  he is everything we could have wanted in a son and so much more.  he is my favorite person, the best of the two of us, and i am so excited to see who he becomes and where his life will take him.

oh and he's really really cute.  :)



a journal post requiring little thought

Out my window: preparing for SNOWMAGHEDDON!  seriously, whoever came up with that term rocks.  it just makes me smile.  they're saying 12-16" but we'll see.  my parents are at my house so i hope to get snowed in, i love having them there and i love having company to break up the lonliness so i am READY! 
Clothing myself in: as i was copying and pasting stuff from the last post to get the categories right, i realized i am wearing the exact same thing, only now i can  fit into the "regular sized" khaki pants instead of the 18's.  yay me!  i've beenable to go to the gym since mom stays with cameron so that's good.  will weigh and measure again on the 6th but so far i've lost only 3 pounds but 4 inches.  so it's good i guess.  better than nothing. 
Around the house: work on the basement has begun!  come to find out i am a good tile-layer.  first coat of paint on the bathroom went up last night.  it's a bit more green than i imagined but i still like it.  at my request, my valentines day present from charles was a shopping trip to home depot for basement supplies so i'm pretty excited and we have a lot we could do were we to get snowed in!  yesss!!!! 
The baby: in a 2 week period he has gone from the army crawl to full out crawling to pulling himself up on his knees and now a couple of times pulling himself up to standing.  he was *so close* to crawling for so long that i knew he would just bust it out all at once and he sure has.  he's having a great time.  last night he also waited till i got home to display his new found fit-throwing skillz.  it was pretty funny.  i'm pretty sure he yelled at me that he was moving away before he tore off down the hallway only to realize that he's a baby and he can't go anywhere.  so eventually he came back to where we were but he wasn't happy about it.  i'm not sure what we did to offend him but we gave him some cheerios and he was better after that.  he still isn't saying 'mama' but he says 'dada' a lot, so i think he thinks that is the interchangable word for a parental figure.  i talk to him about daddy a lot so i guess that's my fault.  but we'll get it figured out.  he knows that he is loved and has parents so that's the important thing.  he has been away from his usual daycare situation for a couple weeks now and he misses the other little kids.  we're just waiting on the call from the CDC now, hopefully it will come soon.  in the mean time, mom is here. 
In the kitchen: mom is very comfortable at our house, which is good.  she also likes food, which is bad.  this past weekend alone, in addition to the valentines candy, she made a dessert for our "valentines dinner" (steak, etc.) which was demolished in 3 days, and also made a batch of cinnamon rolls.  i think today or tomorrow she is making cookies.  that's all well and good except that it's a lot easier to eat well when that stuff isn't in the house.  for almost 3 months now i have done really well and amde lots of progress so this is a big test for me.  i had my share of crap over the weekend but cleansed myself of that at the gym last night and have no intention of derailing it again.  cinnamon rolls sound good in theory but i have a shake for breakfast so that's easy enough to avoid.  cookies might not be so easy, but i'll do my best. 
Crafting: i have a few baby gift things i'd like to make, everyone seems to be having boys.  there is also a picture that charles has mentioned he "has always wanted" for his bathroom.  however i can't find it anywhere online for the life of me, so i might try to make it myself.  could be interesting.  good thing i have 8 1/2 months till he comes home.
Reading: nothing now.  finished harry potter and mom brought up a book she wanted me to read.  it's written by the same person who wrote 'fried green tomatoes'.  haven't started it yet.
Bringing me joy: seeing cameron grow and learn and play.  he's just so happy andalthough his independence can be frustrating, especially when i'm trying to snuggle onhim and he's pushing me away with every ounce of his strength, but he's still so darn cute and full of life.  i often have to be mindful about not controlling every aspect of his life and just letting him do what he wants to do as long as it's safe and smart. 
Thinking about: how glad i will be when this year is over.  this is by far the hardest year of my life, and it's just beginning.  we are both so worn out already.  but we do what we have to do and we'll be better for it.

Pictures to share - my beautiful boy:  he and grandma have a game - she builds the block tower and he comes barreling in to knock it down.  she hopes that this will inspire him to learn how to build.  (????)  i hope this will not get him in trouble at daycare.

taking a stab at this: Journal

things are slow at work so to pass the time i figured i'd blog.  but to help me direct my thoughts to less-depressing things than my previous couple of posts, here's the ever-popular 'journal' thing:
TODAY

Out my window: sun is shining and i think it's supposed to get up to 45 today.  i have made a deal with myself that i will load up cameron in the jogging stroller on days when it gets above 50, so we'll see. 
Clothing myself in: kahki pants (sorry, i can't spell khaki.. or is that right?  who knows, whatever...) that are size 18 and purchased for when i went back to work after the baby.  they look rediculous becuase i am thankfully NOT a size 18; however i only have 2 pair of pants for work that are not too tight, including these, so although i could probably fit a midget inthe butt of these pants, i'm going to wear them until the rest of my clothes are more comfortable.  but at least i finally let the hem out a bit this weekend so they are no longer 3" too short.  i'm a hot mess, what can i say.  also have a blue wrap shirt on and a long red sweater coat thing in hopes of disguising the butt situation with these pants.  go me.
Around the house: it's pretty clean.  mom and dad were here this last weekend.  i get stressed out when it's not clean so i often put that ahead of other things but it allows me to feel some sense of control over the world.  so house is clean but i still want to clean the carpets upstairs.  consequently i'm shootingto spend more time with the baby in the living room because the carpets ARE clean down there.
The baby: the old 'lay a blanket on the floor for him' trick is behind us.  still not crawling but that boy is a mover!  hence the carpet cleaning stuff... tooth # 5 is through and it's fellow is not far behind.  he's recovered from his sickies last weekend and is back to being very happy and active.  he crashes shortly after 7 and has no interest in crawling but would rather stand up and flail his arms all over.  i keep standing him against the couch to work on supporting himself that way.  i am certain that i will regret this later.  but he's having a blast.
In the kitchen: been doing the meal replacement shakes for 2 months now and i love it.  i still get all of my recomended foods every day but without having to take the time to cook or eat 2 of my 3 big meals.  it's wonderful!  i plan my food the night before.  tonight i'm making a big pot of stuffed pepper soup.  i have stuff for some broccoli and cheddar soup too, went to panera this weekend and had a bowl there and decided i must cook it too.  tried cauliflower in some mac and cheese a while back and it was great. 
Crafting: finally did some sewing this weekend!  in addition to the re-hemming of the pants i also made some taggies and sewed together some bath towels to send to a couple of friends in afganistan to protect their electronics from sand, an idea given by another friend with experience in the whole sand vs. electronics thing.  now i just have to wait till i get paid friday since i spent my postage fund on groceries.  awesome.  i hope to make some more taggies and i used some christmas money to buy quilting supplies so i will also eventually do that.  i also have a friend and her daughters who come over once a week for crochet lessons so im enjoying that too.  oh, and i've discovered the zen quality to painting small things.  who knew!?  i had occasion to paint some things for christmas gifts and want to do more of it.  i'm planning an eventual wooden name plate for cameron's room.

Reading: harry potter and the half blood prince.  few people really know about my harry potter addiction, so now you're clued in.  reading is my escape and i absolutely love escaping to that world.  i've read the entire series probably 10 times at least.  it drives charles crazy to see me reading them, but he doesn't know how crazy i could drive him if i didnt.  and so i read.
Bringing me joy: talked to charles on instant messenger this morning.  i wouldn't go straight to 'joy bringing' since we're both pretty miserable, but it is certainly better to talk to him than not.  i'm also happy that cameron is back to his happ self after being sick.  and the basement renovation is officially underway and that makes me very happy and excited.  i'm surpising charles with it and i'm so excited to do this for him.  he will love it!
Thinking about: charles and how to help him, how to help myself, get through this year.  it's going so. slowly.  also the fact that we have it easy compared to so many others.  we had 3 1/2 years together before this year apart.  some people get 12-18 months together.  to think of that with more than 1 kid, i just can't imagine.  so i try to remind myself that it could be worse, although admittedly that doesn't make me feel any better.  also thinking of money and wishing i could find a way to make it go further.
Pictures to share - yea, i got nothing.  i've been trying to do better about taking them to document the year.

crap ass

i've sat here at work this morning reading the blogs of friends and pondering what i'd say on a post.  unfortuantly most of what has been going through my mind is not very positive and i put a little bit of effort into thinking of a way to turn my crap ass day/week/month/year into some sort of optimistic life lesson that puts trivial human sufferings into perspective but honestly: i got nothin.  sometimes stuff just sort of sucks and i dont really care if that's nice or not.  i miss the hell out of my husband.  he's only been gone for 2 months and we have 10 more to go before i can touch him again, or even look at him 3 dimensionally, see the color of his eyes, snuggle up with him in his oversized sweat pants.  this is not ok.  i dont like it.  it is not easy.  and every time i think about that blessed day when i pick him up from the airport with our then 18 month old son running around all over the place, it makes me cry.  i had hoped that month #2 would go quickly with the busy holiday season but it didn't really.  charles was 100% miserable to be away on christmas and there wasnt a thing i could do about it, which made me miserable too.  but now that's over and we're both very glad.  now that we're in the new year, the year when we will see each other again, i know the time will go more slowly because we have nothing to distract us between now and then except every day life.  and let's face it, that's just not all that distracting with an elephant like this in the room.  i walk around every day with a dulled out grey feeling.  i do a pretty good job of getting things done, heck, i even cleaned carpets this weekend.  and although i know i could always do better with cameron, teaching him to sign or singing songs or whatever, i am still making his baby food and we have at least 30 minutes of play time, just us, every night during the week when i'm not feeding him or myself or cooking or cleaning, etc.  so that's pretty good i think, all things considered.  my eyebrows are kind of-ish tweezed and for the most part i do well to wear clothes that match, at least when i'm out of the house.  i'm even doing pretty well at eating healthy, even though i can't get any exercise in.  i lost 2 1/2 inches on my waist this last month but gained a pound.  carbs are the enemy.  apparently.  so is stress.  yea...  so i know there are good things and i do a pretty good job of celebrating them, not so much because i feel like celebrating at all, but because i know that i have to hold on to something remotely victorious or else i would just go under completely. 
this morning cameron, who is getting sick, projectile vomited all over the both of us, and the chair, and the wall behind me.  no joke, it was like that scene in shrek the third where the baby in the carriage pukes.  he let it go once and then turned to face me and i had a half a second where i grabbed the burp rag on my shoulder an dheld it up in front of my face before he let it go again.  it was the weirdest thing i've ever seen.  well, no, that's not true.  but it was still weird.  then he just sat there looking at me all confused with some disgustingly wet hiccups.  i cursed myself for putting htat tight shirt on him this morning because now i was peeling off puke-soaked tight shirt.  but we got it figured out and i hope i managed to wipe all the puke off both of us before we re-dressed and headed out. i was only a few minutes late to work.  that was my superwoman moment of the day, too bad i capped out early because there is a lot of day left here.  i tried to find a picture of the scene from shrek but if you have never googled 'shrek the third puke scene', please dont do it.  serves me right, that was gross.
so yea, there's an incredibly lame blog post for you.  thanks for reading.  it just seemed like too much to express as a facebook status. 

what if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you thanked God for today?

i always love that thought.  it often runs through my mind while i'm trying to wrangle snuggle the baby after his bottle during nigh-night prayers.  (and yes, i totally said nigh-night prayers, and do so on a regular basis.  i also say teefers, footies, and necky - but all not nearly as often as i say tooties, because let's face it, he's my son)  but i digress...  there is much to be thankful for. 
mr cameron is doing well.  he's still *so close* to crawling, but i'm absolutely in no hurry for him to figure it out.  he's been out of sorts lately.  i'm not sure if this is due to teething or the absence of daddy or what, but he is just "off" lately.  it's incredibly frustrating when you don't know what's going on; but he is still a good boy and even though he doesnt always eat his fruit or veggies when i think he should (or at all) sometimes, he is still healthy and never goes to sleep hungry.  newsflash: mom can't control everything.  we have been able to skype charles several times and only a couple of times when the baby is awake, one of which was over the weekend.  charles usually wears his beanie but this time he was not wearing it and when cameron saw him on the screen i think it was the first time he recognized him and he went NUTS!  his little arms and legs were moving up a storm and he did that little hyper-ventilating fast breathing thing he does when he gets excited.  it was great to see.  charles enjoyed it also.  i certainly have the easy end of this situation, i can't imagine how hard it is for him to be away.  but thankfully, the technology allows me to send him a TON of pictures and keep him up to date on all of our daily activities, from stuffy noses to reaching for dish towels.  it's not exciting but it's our life and i'm certainly going to share it with him one way or another - every bit.
charles is settled in to his room in the barracks.  it's a very nice room with a little kitchen and everything.  he doesn't have his shipped goods yet but hopefully soon.  he is still inprocessing so it will be a couple weeks before he begins work; so he's bored out of his mind.  but he is getting out and enjoying the area and trying new things and i am so happy for him that he gets to have these adventures!  it seems like i'm always the one traveling and doing fun things and he's always working, so this is an amazing opportunity for him and i am so proud of him for the way he is embracing it.  he's making the most of his time away.  we have pretty much decided that he will not come home on a mid-tour leave because of the traveling cost.  so the first month is almost over and the 2nd month will go quickly, hopefully the rest follow suit for both of us.
i'm trucking along pretty well still.  my good friend claudia is here for a visit and leaves tomorrow.  it has been wonderful for both of us to have a few days together.  i havent started my exercising stuff yet (shocker, i know) but hope to this week when my steady stream of visitors dies down.  but i am feeling well (mentally) and staying strong and not having the anger issues that i was afraid of having - so i'm very happy about that.  but i know that i will need to keep it all up with preventative exercise and continuing to practice my positive thinking/redirection.  but i'm managing to keep the house clean and meals cooked and celebrating those small victories.  this last week i washed my couch cushion covers for the first time.  eeew, i know. totally gross considering how long we've had the couches, but they are those microfiber things and i was nervous about ruining them.  so i had a wild hair and decided to just give it a shot, you know, right before a holiday weekend with company coming.  thankfully, it worked very well and other than one of the cushions losing a zipper thingy (which i stashed in the drawer for the next time), it was a success.  please, come smell how my couch doesnt smell like dog butt mouth! 
so yes, it's all as good as it can be in michelle world.  yay!