he's gone again

so monday morning we found out that charles was going to take a little trip to ft Sill, oklahoma for 30 days - he was supposed to leave on wednesday but they delayed it until today.  we also found out with certainty that he will be deployed again sometime after the first of the year.  which leaves us just a few months (once he returns from oklahoma) to continue the attempts at baby making.  no pressure.  i remember hearing at some point that there is literally a 4 hour window during which conception can take place.  it is difficult not to dwell on the number of hours we have and wonder how in the hell we're going to get it right.  but alas, i have no choice but to surrender it to God.  i just really really hope he sees fit to bless us with our miracle before charles leaves.  there are many things terrifying about the situation all around.  i suppose if we dont get pregnant before he goes, then i couldnt have handled it.  reflection: i'm either too weak and will be miserably alone in many ways, or i am strong and will be insanely stressed but deleriously happy.  i guess we'll see.