in a funk

it has become increasingly obvious to me how incredibly detached i am from everyone else. maybe it's due, in part, to the fact that i live and work on a military base and am always surrounded with people like me. but i find myself not really having much of a connection with people "outside", and equally not caring about it. if anything, it's frustrating when people "outside" do try and have a connection with me because all i can think of is that they dont really have any clue what it's like on my side of the fence. that's not to say that i only care about myself or that i'm being incredibly selfish in any way - it's just that i AM one thing, and anyone who is not in my situation IS another thing entirely. i could definetly attempt to explain why i am different and why i am struggling with my situation, but no matter how well i explain it, you won't really understand unless you're in it. so i dont really care to have deep discussions about my feelings because it won't change anything. that's not to say that the situation is entirely bad - there are a very few good points, such as a growing bond between my husband and i, but at some times, the bad outweighs the good - such as the fact that no matter how strong that bond is, charles is still not here for another 5 months and i only get to talk to him once or twice a week. even if i talked to him once or twice a day, at this point it would never be enough.
so although i'm sure that if you're reading this, you love and support me - and i DO very much appreciate it. but also know that if you're reading this, chances are good that you know me pretty well and you can be assured that i dont want to talk about it. pray for me, pray for charles, and pray that the next year goes quickly.