i just came across a phrase in reading a beautiful friend's blog and it stuck out to me: choosing to be joyful. what a difficult thing! it sounds simple enough but it sure isn't! the last couple of weeks i feel that i'm just barely holding my head above water. my choices more closely resemble: choosing to wake up today, choosing to eat at least two or three times, choosing to put one foot in front of the other, etc. like most people, i hate to admit my struggles. i hate to admit that i don't have the strength to do what needs to be done, and i hate to limit the term "needs". why is it that we expect so much of ourselves? maybe if we eased up a bit on ourselves it wouldnt be so difficult to overcome our expectations and just simply be happy with what life shovels at us from day to day. but again - if it was as easy as that, we probably wouldn't need therapists. or chocolate. or moms. (not listed in order of importance, by the way - mom.)
so maybe i can make "choosing to be joyful" the big goal and depending on the heap of the day i might just "choose to be" or maybe even just "choose". then i can maybe feel like i'm accomplishing something or making forward movement of some kind. today is definitely a 'choose' day, it's looking that the rest of the week will continue much the same. who am i kidding... the rest of the MONTH will continue that way. but it's something. keep on keepin on, i say. and work off the chocolate later...
2 comments:
Sometimes life circumstances are such that we just have to go into survival mode. And the most we can ask from ourselves is waking up, taking care of the things that must be done, and going to bed. And even recognizing the moments of joy in those times are enough to get us through.
I have been thinking of you a lot lately with this deployment looming large. Your prayer intentions from your previous post are still in my heart.
thank you so much for your prayers and support erin, it means a lot. things have been a bit better the last few days, we were able to unwind from our hellatious trip to wichita. we're just under 3 weeks till he leaves and it still doesn't feel real most of the time. maybe that's just denial speaking. :)
i have opted not to persue the job opportunity in the last post, i can't handle the additional stress right now that would come with it, no matter how much it pays. so i've refinanced my car and i'm just gonna keep on trucking. life goes on!
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