charles' grandfather has also unexpectedly passed away, this last saturday. thankfully, i got the call friday evening that he had fallen and was on life support; charles was able to leave work and get there before the machines were turned off. he has since been with his family navigating some waters that are extremely difficult and i hate that he is doing it alone. i'll be heading that way after work today and am anxious to be with him.
this last few days apart and with extremely minimal contact have been rough for me. they are a fairly good indication of how i will cope when he leaves for korea and it scares the hell out of me because i do not think i'm coping as well as i should be. much depends on my strength, and it is not an option for me to be weak when he leaves. or now, for that matter, although it's happening. (at least in my opinion) but i'll figure it out. i have a couple of great and attentive friends here who are ready to help with whatever i need and i have resigned myself to the fact that i will need to suck up my pride and ask them from time to time. my parents will be life savers, of course, and i am eternally greatful that i can count on them for anything. so i'm piecing things together slowly. i have just a couple more months to put a plan in place that will put my and charles' mind at ease before he goes. it's amazing how overwhelming life can be.
on a much happier note - a couple very very good friends of ours were in town this week to visit. that made me very happy.
2 comments:
I read this several days ago, probably the day you posted it, but haven't commented yet b/c I feel so ill-equipped to say anything. I'll continue to pray for all three of you for during this time of change.
For Charles as he prepares to deploy, that he will have peace in your amazing ability to rise to the occasion as well as confidence in the support system you both have built for your family, both near and far. For his safety as he prepares to travel and engage in new challenges in his daily work, that he may have a deep sense of satisfaction in the job he is doing for all of us back home, and that he may truly know our appreciation for the work and sacrifices he (and everyone else over there) is undertaking.
For little Cameron, that he will continue to grow in health and feel the immense love that surrounds him every day. That he may be the light that brings a smile to your face amidst the joys and challenges of each day.
And finally, for you, my amazingly strong friend. I pray this year brings you a sense of the love, support and community that surrounds you in a way you hopefully always knew was there. May you let yourself cry when you need to, find smiles and joy amidst the challenges ahead, have a glass of wine and good piece of chocolate when necessary, and always find help at your doorstep when you need it most. Our family may not be able to do much from afar, but be assured of our prayers for all of you, and know a listening ear isn't far away.
thanks lizabeth, for your support and definitely for the prayers. there are a number of reasons i have a hard time sharing the situation with everyone "back home". it's difficult to relate to situations that are so incredibly different. also, there isn't really anything that anyone can say that will make it better. so prayers are always welcome. :)
Post a Comment