bloody sheets, smelly diapers, and snuggles

that's how my morning started, and it was GREAT! Cameron had a bloody nose in the night. I suspect he was picking his nose in his sleep, it happens. and although he ate half a piece of cheese and 4 bites of peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, aaaand a cup of milk, I think the milk for breakfast, 2nd breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner along with the pineapple and oranges at school probably did him in. but that's all gross stuff. the snuggles are the best. in my current state, I don't really get Cameron huggies unless I fight for them. I'm pretty much assured to get one when we tuck him in but that's about it unless he's feeling especially generous. when we get home in the evenings I am complete toast, so I go straight for the couch and then, although I don't like him to watch videos during the week since our time is already so short, I usually try to convince him to sit with me for a few minutes to watch a video just so that I can have a chance to touch him. most of the time it works but usually comes with the price of him accidentally sitting on his brother or digging his elbow into my guts. but i'll take it. so this morning he was up about 20 minutes early, with said diaper poopsplosion, and I had some time to go in and sit with him and read him a book and snuggle. it was heavenly. I hate hate hate being so dependent on everyone but even more so, I hate missing out on time with him because I can't function properly. but it is what it is. tomorrow will be a big day, as will the weekend. I have physical therapy at 8, dentist at 9:10, chiropractor at 10:30, hopefully a nap to rest up, then my OB apt at 2:30. 30 weeks has been the "goal" to re-evaluate everything and see if they can ease up on the bed rest stuff and precautions. this week has been TERRIBLE. no lie, Tuesday I made 5 trips to the copy machine and was having noticeable contractions for the rest of the day. yesterday my hips were killing me, contractions were continuing and there is pressure on my cervix. needless to say, I'm freaking out quite a lot. so I have been planning for them to check me again tomorrow, and I still will have them do so. I will be very much surprised if I'm not sufficiently progressed from what I was 4 weeks ago. as of now, my plan is to re-take my damn 3 hr glucose test Saturday morning, then head to the hospital from there for my first of 2 more steroid injections. they will put me on the monitor for 20 minutes, give me the shot, then send me home. (theoretically) and I will go back sunday afternoon for another round. but after this week, I really don't know what to expect. one of my bosses just came in and said that she suddenly has a "feeling" that I'm having a baby today or tomorrow. yea. so that's helpful. don't get me wrong, I would be THRILLED to be done with this as soon as possible, but it's not the best thing for mr. lucas. and my boys are the reasons I was put on this earth in the first place, so if I can't be the best mother I can be, then why bother! so we'll see what happens. I have no doubt that we will both have the absolute best medical care and plenty of family and friends to help us out as much as we need regardless of what happens. so really, there isn't much more to worry about (other than the practical things like, money and food and having a nursery set up in which to put said newborn). oi.