mid-july journal

well here I sit at work on my beloved heating pad with the bosses heading out of town for the rest of the week. as the prospect of 20 hrs of work week left sitting by myself in a quiet half of the building looms ahead of me, I figured I'd start off the morning with a bit of a blog just to feel productive.

Outside my window:
that man with his damn hedge trimmers is at it again, hacking away at he evergreens just outside my office. but that will end soon enough and then I will listen to my little birdy friends again and wish that I could move my desk outside in this beautiful 70 degree weather! I tell ya, my large and pregnant self is extremely grateful for the reprieve from the typical july weather. not that I spent a lot of time outdoors, but it makes the walk in and out of work to/from the car quite lovely.

What I'm wearing:
most of my larger maternity wear from last time was winter-appropriate, so I snagged a pair of shorts and some khaki capris at the consignment sale in the spring. I can't wear jean shorts to work, so most days I wear the capris to work with a nice-ish tshirt. some days I wear a shorter dress with black stretchy maternity capri leggings. (yes Elizabeth, not only do I wear capris, but they are capri LEGGINGS.) :) I find it uncomfortable to just wear a dress without some sort of barrier to muffle the thunder thighs. baby powder is my friend. so anyway... today - capris with a lovely white and blue stripped tshirt and the same black sandals I've worn every day for the last 8 months. rock on.

Toddler:
Cameron smameron is doing very well! after mom being here for over a month, he has managed to adjust to her and the situation in the house which renders me unavailable for the most part. his fits have greatly subsided. it only took a few times of tossing him into his room to cure the majority of the meltdowns, now we just have to ask him if he needs to go to his room until he can be a nice boy - he will say no and stop crying immediately. who knew!? he is getting so tall! today I decided to give it a shot with him eating at the table instead of his high chair and he did well. the last time I tried it, his face was almost level with the table top, but it worked just fine for breakfast. we will tentatively continue with that. he can scale the dining room chairs fairly easily on his own so that will eliminate the need for me to pick him up and put him in his high chair. really, I think the only difficult part will be that we don't always eat at the same time. but this is the last week of my 10 hr days, so it will be much easier to get home and get a meal together at a normal time now.
we are working on the Great Room Shuffle. hopefully this week or weekend we will get out to purchase a twin bed for Cameron and then be able to move the crib over to Luke's room. the plan is still to decorate Cameron's room with curious George, but it will be a while until a trip to joann's can happen - probably while I'm on maternity leave (and after I win the lottery). mom spent yesterday digging out the baby clothes and washing them now that the nursery is empty of charles' stuff. it was incredibly surreal to see those tiny little clothes and shoes again. but it is such a HUGE relief to have it out and moving again and know that we are heading in the direction of being ready for his arrival.

In the Kitchen:
Mom the Amazing has been handling all the cooking/cleaning/shopping. this week we had leftover spaghetti, meatloaf, roast, shephard's pie last night, and probably leftovers again tonight. Friday we have invited some dear friends over who we will ask to be godparents for Luke in addition to charles' sister, to cover the Catholic bases. I (or mom) will make that peach and Dijon pork tenderloin again with roasted sweet potatoes and brussel's sprouts.
I have also been eating an obscene amount of cookies and ice cream. luke REALLY likes ice cream. I have Dursley chins. it's gross. but it will pass.

Crafting:
good one! how bout "if my body could support a trip to the store and I could afford it, what would I be crafting": then joann's would be void of curious George fabric for curtains and such for Cameron; I would also buy grey and sky blue pattern fabric with puppies to decorate luke's room (curtains, crib skirt, baby quilt, possibly a cushion for the rocking chair) and white frames with which I would make "nursery art" out of fabric remnants or scrapbook paper. the road between wants and needs is a bitter one to tread these days. it's hard to surrender my vision of "perfection", or even "completion".

Reading:
harry potter. again. don't ask me how many times I've read it, I've lost count. it's a great distraction and helps to pass the time I must spend on the couch. I'm currently on book 4.

Bringing me joy:
seeing how Charles and Cameron's relationship has grown this last month or so. we've hit such a great family rhythm, I guess all it took was for me to just get out of the way and give Charles the chance to really dig in. but it's pretty awesome to see!
Cameron's favorite thing: being superman! he and Charles got matching capes for his birthday and almost every day he will ask to put it on and run up and down the hallway going "ready, set GO!". best. thing. ever.

Thinking about:
how in the world I will function when mom goes home. as of now, we're planning on her leaving in a week and a half or so, at which time my back will theoretically be well enough for me to get around and "chase Cameron" as needed. I don't know. functioning is my current fear and I'm just focusing on that because if I think about all the things that will be scary once I'm actually done being pregnant, functioning would go out the window.
but obviously taht's not smart, so I save a good portion of my worry for finances too. just to be good and stressed prepared.

Pictures:
yea, still haven't taken or uploaded any of the pictures from my camera or phone. and as this is the last week of 10 hr shifts/Fridays "off", it's not gonna happen. so instead, here are some pictures taken from charles' facebook:

the basement floor is finally done! Charles has worked on it for several weeks and I am thrilled to say that he is pleased with the results. it was touch and go for a while but now that he sees the finished product he is happy. I love it too. we were quoted at about $2000 for someone to do it for us but he got it done for just under $500. remaining basement tasks: installing the bar counter/cabinet/shelves, tiling around the fireplace and decorating. although Charles does not like my vision of the bar and desparately wants to add another counter in front of the wall unit for people to sit at. this is our current wish/project. he just wants it all finished, but the spirit is willing and the account is weak. it is an understandable source of frustration that after all his hard work he still doesn't have a usable man cave space. but we are both doing our best not to be super pouty about the situation and focus on what needs to happen in order to prepare for luke. being a grown up blows.

this is what happens when I leave Charles with Cameron on a Saturday morning. spiked hair and biker tattoos. those two are thick as thieves! :)

aaaand now let's all take a moment to celebrate that I finally figured out why the damn blogger wasn't starting a new line of type when I push Enter.
The End.

bloody sheets, smelly diapers, and snuggles

that's how my morning started, and it was GREAT! Cameron had a bloody nose in the night. I suspect he was picking his nose in his sleep, it happens. and although he ate half a piece of cheese and 4 bites of peanut butter and jelly sandwich for dinner, aaaand a cup of milk, I think the milk for breakfast, 2nd breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner along with the pineapple and oranges at school probably did him in. but that's all gross stuff. the snuggles are the best. in my current state, I don't really get Cameron huggies unless I fight for them. I'm pretty much assured to get one when we tuck him in but that's about it unless he's feeling especially generous. when we get home in the evenings I am complete toast, so I go straight for the couch and then, although I don't like him to watch videos during the week since our time is already so short, I usually try to convince him to sit with me for a few minutes to watch a video just so that I can have a chance to touch him. most of the time it works but usually comes with the price of him accidentally sitting on his brother or digging his elbow into my guts. but i'll take it. so this morning he was up about 20 minutes early, with said diaper poopsplosion, and I had some time to go in and sit with him and read him a book and snuggle. it was heavenly. I hate hate hate being so dependent on everyone but even more so, I hate missing out on time with him because I can't function properly. but it is what it is. tomorrow will be a big day, as will the weekend. I have physical therapy at 8, dentist at 9:10, chiropractor at 10:30, hopefully a nap to rest up, then my OB apt at 2:30. 30 weeks has been the "goal" to re-evaluate everything and see if they can ease up on the bed rest stuff and precautions. this week has been TERRIBLE. no lie, Tuesday I made 5 trips to the copy machine and was having noticeable contractions for the rest of the day. yesterday my hips were killing me, contractions were continuing and there is pressure on my cervix. needless to say, I'm freaking out quite a lot. so I have been planning for them to check me again tomorrow, and I still will have them do so. I will be very much surprised if I'm not sufficiently progressed from what I was 4 weeks ago. as of now, my plan is to re-take my damn 3 hr glucose test Saturday morning, then head to the hospital from there for my first of 2 more steroid injections. they will put me on the monitor for 20 minutes, give me the shot, then send me home. (theoretically) and I will go back sunday afternoon for another round. but after this week, I really don't know what to expect. one of my bosses just came in and said that she suddenly has a "feeling" that I'm having a baby today or tomorrow. yea. so that's helpful. don't get me wrong, I would be THRILLED to be done with this as soon as possible, but it's not the best thing for mr. lucas. and my boys are the reasons I was put on this earth in the first place, so if I can't be the best mother I can be, then why bother! so we'll see what happens. I have no doubt that we will both have the absolute best medical care and plenty of family and friends to help us out as much as we need regardless of what happens. so really, there isn't much more to worry about (other than the practical things like, money and food and having a nursery set up in which to put said newborn). oi.

butt cheek

an update from north east kansas: i am still pregnant. i will be 29 weeks on thursday and the doctor wants me to continue weekly OB appointments through 30 weeks, at which point we will re-evaluate. also at 30 weeks, i will have another round of 2 steroid shots (out patient this time instead of 3 days in the hospital, hopefully) and will have to re-take my 3 hr glucose test (suprise!) because i was too close to failing. i've pretty much been having celebratory ice cream and candy ever since they told me that i had passed it the last time, so i am worried that i'll bomb it on the 2nd try, but i was also in a pretty extreme amount of pain the last time, which can drive up your blood sugar as well. so who knows. speaking of the pain, i have now had 3 visits with the chiropractor and today went to my first PT appointment. although skeptical, especially since i pay $30 for about 5 minutes worth of interaction, the chiropractor has been helping. some. it also helps that i am off my feet as much as possible. but i think the PT might provide more relief. they gave me lots of stretches to do that all felt good, and also a soft tissue massage. as weird as it was to have some chick massage my butt cheek for 10 mintues with a stress ball, it felt pretty darn amazing. fingers crossed that i can talk charles into such regular treatments. although my money is on the fact that he probably won't be inclined to spend that amount of time in such close proximity to my butt. but here's hoping! i will be going to PT weekly until these darn 10 hr work days end (2 more weeks!) and then will up it to probably twice weekly after work. as far as pregnancy stuff, i have had no more bleeding (horay for "vaginal rest" *grumble grumble*) or sonograms of any kind, but the braxton hicks are definitely present. i did not feel them last time but they have been noticably increasing in intensity, even with the "bed rest", which makes me nervous. but the doctors maintain that as long as i am not having any red bleeding or contractions that require me to breathe to get through them, i should not worry. yea right. i've also had some weird funky shooting nerve things in my belly area that cause alarm to me and not my doctors. i'm just taking it very easy and hoping for the best at this point. luke is growing fast and hanging LOW. the dr. offered to check me again for dialation last week but i declined as i was making a weekend road trip and didn't want to kick up any action before that. but if they don't insist on doing it this week, i will probably ask for it at 30 weeks while they're tinkering with everything else. it will either speed stuff up majorly or put my mind at ease that all of my taking it easy will be for a good cause. my mom is still here and has been a tremendous help! she gets cameron up and ready in the morning and wrestles him into the car, then drops me off at work and spends the day cleaning/cooking/shopping/working on the house and then picks him then me up in the evening and wrestles him around till bedtime. seriously. amazing. she will stay till at least 30 weeks, barring any unforseen complications or if my back is not healed enough to allow me to take care of cameron. i'm still on a 10 lb lift limit and bed rest, so 30 weeks really is the big deciding point for a lot of things. that's it on the pregnancy update. charles has been doing fantastic things in the basement and theoretically i will get some pictures downloaded/taken of that. it'd be a good post that doesn't relate to parts of my body that the general public probably doesn't want to know about. :)