journal: creeping along

out my window: yep, snow.  wtf.  it is annoying but at the same time, i am grateful for still being able to wear many disguisatory layers of clothing and not having to shave my legs yet.  you win some and you lose some i guess.

what i'm wearing: mom and dad are up and mom brought a huge bag full of clothes that are too big for her and so she is passing them to me.  let's all just take a second to join in the pathetic fact that i am fatter than my mom.  .............  thanks.  but on the bright side, i have a whole bunch of new clothes now.  although most ofthem are still too small for me, i am shrinking steadily and will fit into them eventually.  so today, i am wearing my "new" pink sweater and grey work pants.  what a novelty: a sweater that doesnt have a thousand little balls on it from our crappy washer and dryer!  horay!

the baby toddler: no walking yet, unless you count that awesome little crab walk thing he does or the fact that he can hold on to stuff and shuffle all over the place.  but he'll get htere soon.  he is cutting the big teeth and has been pretty miserable the last few days with some pretty high temps and majorly increased whininess.  he's also getting really good at the whole 'i'm going to flop  myself down onteh floor in front of you and cry' business, which is just plain funny.  especially when you turn your back or walk away and he will go crying after you so he can flop down in front of your new location.  he's very determined.  he's also been showing a bit of a mean streak lately which really does concern me, i'm not sure how to fix that other than repeatedly telling him to be nice and responding with love and patience (and an offended facial expression) and hoping that he will get the picture.  i do a lot of flying by the seat of my pants.  any ideas would be appreciated.  i do try to praise him when he is being nice and tell him that whatever he is doing is very nice, it's just hard to know if he really understands it at this point. 

in the kitchen: i FINALLY got to grill out sunday and made some really good steaks.  yesterday i made bbq meatballs and egg noodles with green beans.  tonight, spinach salad and later in the week some fish.  tomorrow i'm making a roast for a friend and her girls who come and visit every wednesday.  i like food.

crafting: will work on some baby shower invites tonight and have lots of sewing projects in the works for the shower and for the man cave.  i'll be making a manly quilt for charles, lots of black fabric.  :)  hopefully he doesn't think it's lame.

reading: finished the fannie flagg book and mom brought me a couple more.  there seem to be sooo many things to do other than read, but it's nice when i get the chance.  my boss recommended the books about "how to date your son/daughter" so at some point i would like to look into those. 

bringing me joy: my husband and all his mysterious awesomeness.  lots of progress on the house.  i spent over 6 hrs working in the yard saturday and i am still sore, but it was very satisfying to have done it all myself for once and it looks a million times better.  i moved some plants around and took out some others and pruned and spruced up.  hopefully they all survive!

thinking about: previously mentioned husband and how much i want to see his handsome face and just touch him and talk to him whenever i want.  so often with cameron there are times when i think 'man!  i wish i had charles here so WE could come up with a solution to this problem!', but at the same time, i worry about when that is a reality and how it may or may not frustrate me if we do not agree.  by the time he is home, i will have done a lot of disciplining solo and i fear that it will be a difficult transition for all of us.  but no need to borrow worry i guess. 

picture to share:
installation of the child locks on the cabinets last night - cameron was most helpful to grandpa by shutting all the cabinet doors repeatedly just as grandpa got the drill bit lined up.  he's so handy.  also - baby plaid pajama pants!!!!!!!!!!!! 

journal: it's april - YAY!!!

Out my window: it's been overcast for a couple of days, we had a storm sunday night and, unless it was really really quiet, we did not get the storm we were forcast for last night.  however they're saying that tonight will be a doozy and by thursday we may have snow.  eff that.  but i guess on the bright side, snow means continued pants-wearing and continued un-shaven leg-sporting.  so whatever.  i am still fighting off the stomach virus turned cold turned sinus infection which has now turned into allergies with all the moisture in the air.  no joke - 4 boxes of kleenex in just over a week.  if it wasn't so disgusting, i would totally invest in some handkerchiefs. 
Clothing myself in: grey pants, yellow shirt with ruffles (that's right lizabeth, i'm wearing yellow ruffles.  and yes, i DID get this shirt from my mom) :)  and a black cardigan.  as i dress in the mornings i often think that my "business casual attire" would greatly benefit from a necklace at least, but i can't yet rationalize that with a little boy who would want to yank on it, etc.  but i figure as long as i have put on enough clothes to at least cover all the important parts and i mostly match, that is a victory for me and i'll worry about accessories in a few months.
Around the house: this weekend cameron took a gloriously long nap and i was able to CLEAN!!!  who knew this could be so exciting!?  i swept and mopped, vacumed and dusted and finished all the laundry.  my house smelled like pine sol all day long and it made me entirely too happy.  sunday i used his nap time to mow the grass and even got to sit on the couch and watch a movie.  it's the little things.  last night we went to walmart for some groceries and for our weekly "social outing".
The baby: he is doing better at the CDC but still not 100% adjusted.  this is week 3, but at least he does not spend all evening crying and needing to be held.  he is still pretty clingy though, but reasonably so.  he is also discovering cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and "rearrange bottom cabinets" has been on my dry erase "to do" board all week but i honestly have no idea where to put those things that need to be put up, i.e. - the food processor.  maybe i can just make a box full of blades and leave the rest of the big stuff down where it is?  i dont know, i'm still working on a plan with that. 
he is not quite walking but can do so pretty well holding on to things.  i am doing amazingly well at just letting him be.  he's smooshed his fingers in drawers a couple of times and he cries and i distract him and he gets over it and we move on.  the only thing that makes me hover is when he stands up against a wall with his back to the kitchen chairs because he could really bonk his head on them pretty hard if he fell back at all.  but for the most part, i just let him explore and hope for the best.  although his interst in the trash can does cause me a bit of alarm, i think i've played it off pretty well so far.  no major incidents.  it helps that i keep him pretty well confined to the kitchen/dining room/hallway upstairs so there isnt a whole lot of mischief to find. 
In the kitchen: i did get to make my bierocks last thursday - thanks for the recipe lizabeth!  they were u-mazing.  i took the last of them back out of the freezer last night.  they also make the perfect baby food because they have lots of veggies in them.  i used turkey meat and added carrots and peas along with cabbage.  i bought the big can of evaporated milk so i have enough left for probably another double batch which i think i may make this week.  need to get more meat. 
i have been eating very well lately, lots of salads.  i made a quick salad a couple days ago by mixing some chick peas, corn, salsa and a little bit of thousand island dressing together and putting it over a bed of red lettuce with some green onion and a little bit of cheese on top.  i have been doing a lot with dried beans lately because it's so cheap and easy.  i'm all about finding cheap ways to do stuff and getting really good at using the food i already have and not wasting it.  this is a big goal of mine so i'm pleased with how well it usually goes.  usually.
it's been a bit of a challenge now that cameron is at the CDC because they feed him a very balanced meal 2x and a snack, but it's often something that i don't feed him.  but thankfully they give me a sheet every day of what they fed him and how much he ate so i will look at that and determine if he needs more veggies or fruit or milk, etc., in the evening.  he doesn't much like meat but loves cheese and fruits and veggies. 
Crafting: not much now but there is much on the horizon.  i'm going to make a simple blanket for charles' man cave reno.  i'm also hosting a baby shower and a graduation party at the end of may/beginning of june so i will maybe get out to a fabric store this weekend because i will be making stuff for those. 

Reading: i started that fannie flagg book that mom brought up but haven't finished it.  i do my reading before bed and lately i just want to go to bed.  plus, when i read before bed, pretty soon an hour has gone by and it's really late and then i dont get nearly enough sleep. 
Bringing me joy: got to talk to charles for almost 2 hrs friday!  we speak about once a week usually for just a few minutes, so that was pretty great.  good lord i miss that man!  5 months down and it's still going entirely too slow.  but i am so thankful for such a strong relationship that we have.  whether he is by my side or not, i know that we can conquer anything together because we are such a great team. 
cameron kisses: they sure are slobbery but also wonderful.  what a beautiful thing when a little person knows what affection is and chooses on his own to give it to you.  it's very gratifying.

Thinking about: crazy SOB in n. korea and the increasing tension in that area. 
how to keep a balance with taking care of my son, my husband and myself.  i lost 6 pounds this last month (stress?  illness?  good eating habits?  who knows...)  and have yet to figure out how to fit in exercise.  eating is good, i've got that under control, but exercising means sacrificing time with cameron or sleep and neither are worth it to me to sacrifice right now.  hopefully when the weather consistently improves and cameron is not so off in the evenings, we will go on walks or something.  but for now - i'm working on being at peace with the fact that my best is good enough and that i am ok.


Pictures to share - nope - i'm at work.  although i do have some good ones on the camera to load onto FB at some point.