charles ear & a glimer of hope for a cute boy nursery

so charles had his big hearing test this morning and i am DE-LIGHTED to announce that he has passed!!  he BARELY passed, but it's a pass none the less.  you may recall that his is the man who spent january-july deaf as a post in his right ear.  surgery #2 gave him titanium surgical implants in his ear and he has slowly been regaining hearing since.  had he failed this test, the process would have begun to chapter him out of the military and life (insurance, income, everything...) as we know it would end.  needless to say, it was a bit of a stressful morning.  but we're in the clear now, at least for a bit.  his regular-toned hearing is perfect but lower decibles are non-existent for him.  on that ground alone, the doctor could have submitted the paperwork to end his career but thankfully since his "regular" hearing was so good, he cut him some slack and removed all profiles and cleared him for duty.  he is required to have the tubes in his ears replaced yearly as preventative maintenance, and should he not do well on ANY other hearing test in the future, he's done for.  but luckily they usually only do hearing tests every couple of years.  WHEW!!!


so in my last post i said that if we're having a boy there will be star wars decorations in the nursery.  in my attempt at time wasting/desperate searching for a way to make that cute, i came across an artist who does the COOLEST star wars nursery stuff.  yes, people really do that... apparently...  i showed it to charles and he too liked it.  so now i'm not so learly of a lame-ish boy nursery anymore.  http://www.jameshance.com/wookiee-the-chew.html

how friggen cute is that?!!?!  hahah!!!

pay no attention to the whale in the bedroom

so now that my 29 years of stomach sleeping has officially gone to the crapper, our nights have become a bit more wild, but not in a fun way...  sunday night was particularly turbulent, which led to a colorful and HALARIOUS "discussion" from charles.  heheheh, it still makes me laugh.  luckily for both of us, i am not like 99% of other pregnant women with serious body image issues and overly hormonal outbursts because when aspersions were cast about feelings related to attempting to sleep with a restless hump backed whale in the bed next to you, i couldnt help but laugh!  it's pretty much true.  and i certainly can't fault the guy for being frustrated by my huffy and frequent trips to the bathroom and my inability to lie still.  neither of us are sleeping well when all i do is flop around.  perhaps we should have sprung for that king sized mattress afterall! 
in the mean time, i am trying to work with some strategic placement of an extra pillow in hopes that i can manage to both sleep well AND avoid crowding him out.  he has already mentioned taking up residence on the couch for the next few months but i am vehemently opposed.  there are already enough times when we are unable to sleep next to each other, depending on the whims of good ol uncle sam, and i'm sure as hell not going to let him give up any more nights voluntarily!  but last night went well with the pillow (or maybe we were both just too tired to move/care).  so hopefully as the whale expands, things continue to remain tranquil-ish.

and just for the sake of putting pictures on a blog:

the walls in the nursery will be brown like this.  charles HATES it, but in his wisdom and grace, he has allowed it anyway.  my mom says that guys generally have problems picturing the finished product.  i think that's probably true because from the look on charles' face whenever he talks about it, you'd think i'm trying to make our child sleep in a giant colon.  but oh well...   if we are having a girl, the finished product will look similar to these photos.  per our agreement, if we are having a boy, charles will be placing the bulk of his collection of star wars toys around the room and the nursery will therefore be decorated in star wars.  yet another reason i'm really hoping for a girl... 

the other side

well ok, i had been  pretty turned off on the whole blogging thing.  but here i sit at work being bored; plus i do have a new follower - so i figured 'what the hay!'.  so here are my reflections on life in the last week since our big baby news became known to the general public:
at first it was all fun and games, really.  i had a BLAST seeing everyone's reaction.  favorites were the screamers, followed closely by the cryers.  also entertaining was going to church with mom and dad on sunday and watching them stop every single person who met their eye afterwards to tell them that they are going to be grandparents.  given the fact that this announcement came on the weekend of the 1 year anniversary of the loss of grandma kelly - it was so wonderful to have a reason to gather everyone together for some happy times. 
so from there, the next source of joy was the facebook announcement.  my goodness have people said some nice things!  i've gone back a couple of times and read through all the comments and well-wishes and cried like a hormonal idiot.
and all throughout all of this, my absolute favorite part has been hearing charles talk about it.  he's not a touchy feely person, amazingly enough.  and although i rescheduled my last sonogram appointment specifically to accomodate his schedule because i wanted him to make sure he could have the chance to hear the dr tell us that everything is fine, listen to the heartbeat, and see the little booger jumping around - he didnt really have any reaction to ANY of it... at least not in front of me.. on purpose..  BUT, i find myself lingering close by when he is on the phone or othewise talking to someone because mr. stone face buford is in fact quite elated!  well, i knew he was, but i wanted to see/hear it for myself.  turns out i just have to ease drop to get it, but whatever.  so anyway *rambling*, i very much enjoy hearing my husband tell his friends about our child's strong heartbeat and about how as soon as the dr put that little wand on my belly he got to see his baby jumping and dancing around in my belly.  that's what i've been waiting for.  and just like everything else i've ever wanted in my life - i've got it.
so now's where we get to "the other side".  w.t.f.   --- 7 or 8 years ago, when the baby-making stage was in full swing for most of my friends, i was single, living at home, going to school, and working full time.  i had the money to spend $300-400 on a baby shower gift and i enjoyed doing it!  i had the money to take people out for pregnant pampering days or whatever the case was.  i wasnt remotely close to having kids of my own and since i was apparently the only one in that boat, i went for it - loving every minute.  i am firmly rooted in the philosophy that if you have money, time, whatever then it is your responsibility to give it to other people.  i prefer to do it anonymously and i dont want anything in return.  it has recently become apparent to me that my grand scheme of not receiving anything back is a joke.  2 people - TWO people, upon first being told that i'm pregnant have already immediately volunteered to do the baby showers.  this was not wholey unexpected, but still: "you're pregnant?!  congratulations *scream*cry*!  i'm gonna do your shower!".  really?  ok...!  and then there's the gifts.  joe and claudia drove 4 1/2 hrs to see me last weekend, brought a butt load of handmade presents and then thanked ME for inviting them.  someone else has offered to give me all of their baby stuff since they wont need it - including swing, play pen with changing table, toys, etc.  not cheap stuff!  and i am not allowed to pay for it.  and then there's my stealth shopper.  i'm 99.9% sure i know who you are, but if you wanted to be publicly thanked by name you would have put a card in the box - so THANK YOU, stealth shopper, for the Dr Sears baby books!  i'm already tearing through the pregnancy one so that i can try to get  a jump on the baby one before april in hopes that i'll have the slightest idea what the hell to do when i squeeze out this kid.  it's just all been so overwhelming! 
i usually refer to karma as something more like paybacks for people who are mean.  i think it's because this allows me to detach myself from the idea that goodness will be repaid in this life.  honestly i'd rather wait for it in the next.  but as a couple of people have reminded me - it's my turn to sit down, shut up, and take it - just as i've been forcing people to do all these years.  i am INCREDIBLY uncomfortable with that, but even more so INCREDIBLY grateful to so many people who love us.  i want to live a life worth passing on, and i want our children to know how many people have loved us.  if for no other reason, than because they should also be giving and loving people.  with a start like this, how can this life inside me NOT be a good person?  wow.  just wow.  thank you all for everything you've done, said, thought, and prayed for.  i will continue to try my best to live a life deserving of all of this.  oh, and charles too.  another bonus overheard quote: "man, this has been amazing.  michelle and i are so blessed."  yep, he said it.  and it's true.