ouch and a rant

i have somehow managed to hurt my back, just below my left shoulder blade.  combine that loveliness with the fact that i can't do more than take 2 tylonol (which are doing absolutely nothing btw), it hurt so bad i couldnt sleep for the last 2 nights, and i'm hungry all the time - today is not a super happy day.  if i thought i would feel better from home, i would totally leave work right now but the only thing that would accomplish is a smaller paycheck, which i can't afford.  *pissy*
being the pissy person that i am, shamelessly rambling on a blog that apparently no one reads, i'm going to acknowledge that fact and accept the conclusion that apparently i don't care because i havent yet deleted it.  perhaps having a forum to rant is ok, or perhaps i'm just too lazy to do what i would perceive as "rocking the boat" by dropping off the face of the earth to some people.  either way, i choose not to make that decision in my current state of painful pissiness. 
on another mostly unrelatable note - one of the many friends who have moved away inthe last year came over last night for dinner.  our friend is preparing for another deployment, perhaps # 3?  i'm not sure.  either way, at some point in the next month or so, SHE will be saying goodbye to her husbandand THREE children (all under the age of 5) and heading to afganistan.  i'm terrified for her.  charles and i were talking last night and even though she is going to the worst possible place anyone could go, even within that country, she is rediculously excited about it and looks forward to "seeing some action" (her words).  there is no better type of person to have in that situation protecting us, but i hate that it has to be her.  but she wouldnt be as amazing as she is if she didnt love it the way she does.  they are one of the best families i know, certainly one of the strongest.  and charles is just the same.  as we sat at the table eating our enchaladas last night, they were talking about her training and the types of things she will be doing.  they both had serious stars in their eyes and charles' jealousy at her "real army" experiences was palpable.  i love that about him and as scary as it is to even ponder that he could just as easily be in her shoes, i wish that for him.  he is so proud of his service and he was made to do what he does, but the thought that he could go his entire career without "seeing that action" makes me sad for him.  he deserves more than he has and he's earned the right to those opportunities.  these soldiers that i know and love, they don't just work for a promotion, they LIVE as soldiers in hopes of having the chance to give 200% of themselves for our country and the people they love.  that's not just a tag line - that's the truth.  they put ontheir uniform every day, they commute to a job, they work 8, 10, 12, 16 hr days, they commute home and spend a bit of time with their families and they do it againthe next day.  they do their thing every day just hoping and waiting for the piece of paper that will tell them that it's their turn to go to the other side of the world, eat powdered eggs and MREs, sleep on a cot in the sand and miss out ona year with their families.  they're not all that great - but the ones i love truely are.  if you dont have people like that in your world, in your social sphere, i feel sorry for you.  if you dont have close friends like that, it's a shame.  sure - you know good husbands and fathers and spiritual people and friends.  but i get to know people who are all those things PLUS soldiers.  yep - i'm totally bragging, and i dont care if it offends you.  (see?  still pissy)  i could say that i hope that you DO get to be close to someone like that at some point, but even that doesnt really matter too much.  because they will be there for you whether or not you are there for them.  always.

little boy parts

and so came the fateful words from the sonogram tech: "you see that?"  (how could you not?!)
as charles is simultaneously fist pumping, hugging my mom AND doing some sort of seated end zone victory dance, i am on a table covered in goo staring at a screen while my world of pink frilly things and shopping trips is crumbling around me.  a boy.  what the hell do i do with a little boy?  i didnt realize how much i had my mind wrapped around a girl until i learned that he is not, in fact, a girl.  i'll admit, it took me about a week to truly wrap my mind around it and even so i am feeling more clueless than i would have with a girl - or maybe i just imagine that would-be feeling of serenity and in reality i would be clueless either way.  (which is probably closer to the truth)  so regardless - the casa buford has moved forward with the knowledge that there will be a son. 

thanks to a random story told to charles by one of his coworkers who was quite aggessively made to watch the original star wars trilogy back to back without bathroom brakes as a young girl by her father, charles has decided against an all-out star wars themed nursery for fear of brain washing our son.  although that would have been fun and would have given the room a more identifiable theme, i'm not really complaining.  also, due to a series of not so enjoyable "discussions", the all brown walls are now brown on the bottom and light green on the top with white trim and the colors will be separated by a white chair rail when we can afford to buy it.  one of my friends is buying us our crib, which will be white, and i am on the hunt for some fabric to re-cover the burnt orange chair and otoman purchased new in 1970-something by my parents.  i am pleased with the room, partly because it is bright and pretty and partly because that is really an extremely small matter to me in relation to the tasks ahead.  despite my attempt at a healthy compromise, charles still hates it.  it's generally best not to discuss the topic of the nursery in our house so i try to avoid it or at least talk about it with my back turned or as i'm walking away so as not to see the looks or hear the comments.  it's a bit ostrage-y of me but i dont particularly care.  i know it will look really cute when it's done, even if it's a bit odd now.  i am very much hoping to find a nice fabric though, not only for the chair but so that i can make a valance, crib skirt and maybe a bit of a blanket out of it.  so we'll see. 

<~~~ is the color scheme and fabric choice i am ideally looking for.  the green is the right color for the walls.  so i'm just searching for the green fabric at this point.

this is the general idea of the walls only with the lighter green and we have carpet instead of hardwood ~~~~>

so yea, that's what's up with the nursery.  as far as me - i'm ok.  i have started to feel him move more which is fun.  he's a major squirmer, for the sonogram and trying to find his heartbeat at each appointment.  i chose not to get the downs syndrom, etc. blood tests at my last appointment because none of that runs in our family and realistically, there's not anything we could do about it if he has either of them so we might as well not know.  but from what the sonogram tech said, everything looks great.  i have an appointment today so i'll hopefully hear more now that the doctor has looked at the images. 

i'm definitely getting bigger and i'm having a good time with that.  as expected, i am very much enjoying the fact that my belly is finally huge for a reason and that it is socially acceptable for me to have one.  i no longer have to spend a couple of days feeling down on myself when someone asks me when i'm due - now i can just tell them!  :)  sleep is an elusive friend most nights, i have lots of weird dreams - some funny, some creepy.  i'm hungry all the time and have trouble fitting into clothes.  i'm down to 1 pair of work pants which are still pretty uncomfortable.  but hopefull soon i can get more.  i did score a bunch of shirts and a pair of those super sexy jeans that go up to your boobs a couple weeks ago at a thrift shop. 

so yea, overall life is good.  we spend our evenings and weekends being as lazy as possible and the dogs have taken to following me around constantly just waiting for me to sit down so they can lay on me and rest their heads on my belly.  it's pretty cute and i'm looking forward to when the baby kicks them in the face just cause their reactions will be pretty awesome.  let's hope they continue to enjoy him as much once he's out as they do now. 

charles ear & a glimer of hope for a cute boy nursery

so charles had his big hearing test this morning and i am DE-LIGHTED to announce that he has passed!!  he BARELY passed, but it's a pass none the less.  you may recall that his is the man who spent january-july deaf as a post in his right ear.  surgery #2 gave him titanium surgical implants in his ear and he has slowly been regaining hearing since.  had he failed this test, the process would have begun to chapter him out of the military and life (insurance, income, everything...) as we know it would end.  needless to say, it was a bit of a stressful morning.  but we're in the clear now, at least for a bit.  his regular-toned hearing is perfect but lower decibles are non-existent for him.  on that ground alone, the doctor could have submitted the paperwork to end his career but thankfully since his "regular" hearing was so good, he cut him some slack and removed all profiles and cleared him for duty.  he is required to have the tubes in his ears replaced yearly as preventative maintenance, and should he not do well on ANY other hearing test in the future, he's done for.  but luckily they usually only do hearing tests every couple of years.  WHEW!!!


so in my last post i said that if we're having a boy there will be star wars decorations in the nursery.  in my attempt at time wasting/desperate searching for a way to make that cute, i came across an artist who does the COOLEST star wars nursery stuff.  yes, people really do that... apparently...  i showed it to charles and he too liked it.  so now i'm not so learly of a lame-ish boy nursery anymore.  http://www.jameshance.com/wookiee-the-chew.html

how friggen cute is that?!!?!  hahah!!!

pay no attention to the whale in the bedroom

so now that my 29 years of stomach sleeping has officially gone to the crapper, our nights have become a bit more wild, but not in a fun way...  sunday night was particularly turbulent, which led to a colorful and HALARIOUS "discussion" from charles.  heheheh, it still makes me laugh.  luckily for both of us, i am not like 99% of other pregnant women with serious body image issues and overly hormonal outbursts because when aspersions were cast about feelings related to attempting to sleep with a restless hump backed whale in the bed next to you, i couldnt help but laugh!  it's pretty much true.  and i certainly can't fault the guy for being frustrated by my huffy and frequent trips to the bathroom and my inability to lie still.  neither of us are sleeping well when all i do is flop around.  perhaps we should have sprung for that king sized mattress afterall! 
in the mean time, i am trying to work with some strategic placement of an extra pillow in hopes that i can manage to both sleep well AND avoid crowding him out.  he has already mentioned taking up residence on the couch for the next few months but i am vehemently opposed.  there are already enough times when we are unable to sleep next to each other, depending on the whims of good ol uncle sam, and i'm sure as hell not going to let him give up any more nights voluntarily!  but last night went well with the pillow (or maybe we were both just too tired to move/care).  so hopefully as the whale expands, things continue to remain tranquil-ish.

and just for the sake of putting pictures on a blog:

the walls in the nursery will be brown like this.  charles HATES it, but in his wisdom and grace, he has allowed it anyway.  my mom says that guys generally have problems picturing the finished product.  i think that's probably true because from the look on charles' face whenever he talks about it, you'd think i'm trying to make our child sleep in a giant colon.  but oh well...   if we are having a girl, the finished product will look similar to these photos.  per our agreement, if we are having a boy, charles will be placing the bulk of his collection of star wars toys around the room and the nursery will therefore be decorated in star wars.  yet another reason i'm really hoping for a girl... 

the other side

well ok, i had been  pretty turned off on the whole blogging thing.  but here i sit at work being bored; plus i do have a new follower - so i figured 'what the hay!'.  so here are my reflections on life in the last week since our big baby news became known to the general public:
at first it was all fun and games, really.  i had a BLAST seeing everyone's reaction.  favorites were the screamers, followed closely by the cryers.  also entertaining was going to church with mom and dad on sunday and watching them stop every single person who met their eye afterwards to tell them that they are going to be grandparents.  given the fact that this announcement came on the weekend of the 1 year anniversary of the loss of grandma kelly - it was so wonderful to have a reason to gather everyone together for some happy times. 
so from there, the next source of joy was the facebook announcement.  my goodness have people said some nice things!  i've gone back a couple of times and read through all the comments and well-wishes and cried like a hormonal idiot.
and all throughout all of this, my absolute favorite part has been hearing charles talk about it.  he's not a touchy feely person, amazingly enough.  and although i rescheduled my last sonogram appointment specifically to accomodate his schedule because i wanted him to make sure he could have the chance to hear the dr tell us that everything is fine, listen to the heartbeat, and see the little booger jumping around - he didnt really have any reaction to ANY of it... at least not in front of me.. on purpose..  BUT, i find myself lingering close by when he is on the phone or othewise talking to someone because mr. stone face buford is in fact quite elated!  well, i knew he was, but i wanted to see/hear it for myself.  turns out i just have to ease drop to get it, but whatever.  so anyway *rambling*, i very much enjoy hearing my husband tell his friends about our child's strong heartbeat and about how as soon as the dr put that little wand on my belly he got to see his baby jumping and dancing around in my belly.  that's what i've been waiting for.  and just like everything else i've ever wanted in my life - i've got it.
so now's where we get to "the other side".  w.t.f.   --- 7 or 8 years ago, when the baby-making stage was in full swing for most of my friends, i was single, living at home, going to school, and working full time.  i had the money to spend $300-400 on a baby shower gift and i enjoyed doing it!  i had the money to take people out for pregnant pampering days or whatever the case was.  i wasnt remotely close to having kids of my own and since i was apparently the only one in that boat, i went for it - loving every minute.  i am firmly rooted in the philosophy that if you have money, time, whatever then it is your responsibility to give it to other people.  i prefer to do it anonymously and i dont want anything in return.  it has recently become apparent to me that my grand scheme of not receiving anything back is a joke.  2 people - TWO people, upon first being told that i'm pregnant have already immediately volunteered to do the baby showers.  this was not wholey unexpected, but still: "you're pregnant?!  congratulations *scream*cry*!  i'm gonna do your shower!".  really?  ok...!  and then there's the gifts.  joe and claudia drove 4 1/2 hrs to see me last weekend, brought a butt load of handmade presents and then thanked ME for inviting them.  someone else has offered to give me all of their baby stuff since they wont need it - including swing, play pen with changing table, toys, etc.  not cheap stuff!  and i am not allowed to pay for it.  and then there's my stealth shopper.  i'm 99.9% sure i know who you are, but if you wanted to be publicly thanked by name you would have put a card in the box - so THANK YOU, stealth shopper, for the Dr Sears baby books!  i'm already tearing through the pregnancy one so that i can try to get  a jump on the baby one before april in hopes that i'll have the slightest idea what the hell to do when i squeeze out this kid.  it's just all been so overwhelming! 
i usually refer to karma as something more like paybacks for people who are mean.  i think it's because this allows me to detach myself from the idea that goodness will be repaid in this life.  honestly i'd rather wait for it in the next.  but as a couple of people have reminded me - it's my turn to sit down, shut up, and take it - just as i've been forcing people to do all these years.  i am INCREDIBLY uncomfortable with that, but even more so INCREDIBLY grateful to so many people who love us.  i want to live a life worth passing on, and i want our children to know how many people have loved us.  if for no other reason, than because they should also be giving and loving people.  with a start like this, how can this life inside me NOT be a good person?  wow.  just wow.  thank you all for everything you've done, said, thought, and prayed for.  i will continue to try my best to live a life deserving of all of this.  oh, and charles too.  another bonus overheard quote: "man, this has been amazing.  michelle and i are so blessed."  yep, he said it.  and it's true.

the yellow room

http://www.kansascity.com/2011/06/18/2959979/fort-leavenworth-center-eases.html
we have a new Resiliency Center on post and i had occasion to be there earlier this week for an FRG meeting.  one of the ladies at the meeting also works there and offered to give me a tour of the new facility.  like any 100 year old building that has been given a face lift, it was interesting to see the way they updated the building guts with new paint and nice woodwork but also maintained the original ceiling and light fixtures, etc.  no matter how you slice it, most of the buildings at fort leavenworth are just cool.  they have a lot of history and charm and it's difficult to be here in this environment for as long as i have and NOT gain an appreciation for architecture. 

so anyway, as we were casually going through the rooms "this is where the chaplains' office is, they have their own entrance", "upstairs is the school liason office", "the on-site child care is downstairs", etc., i was led through an inconspicuous doorway in the back which opened to yet another private entrance - this one for the Gold Star Family Room.  if you are not familiar with the term "Gold Star Family", i sincerely hope you never become personally so.  have you ever noticed people with little red and white flags on their house or as a sticker on their car? 

this is a Service Flag.  the blue star in the center indicates there is one living active duty military member serving in this family.  some stars are blue with a yellow outline, meaning a wounded veteran (i think), and the solid gold stars indicate a service member in the family who has died in the line of duty. 

so back to the room - it was beautiful and gut wrenching at the same time.  it was beautifully decorated and had an ornate fire place and leather couches placed comfortably around the room.  the walls were pale gold.  more importantly though, on tables around the room and spaces on the walls were photos.  i couldnt stay in there long enough to really get a good look, but i would guess maybe 40 or 50 framed photos of sons, daughters, husbands and wives who have died in service.  there were folded up uniforms and stacks of service ribbons also.  the room was empty of people, except myself and my tourguide, but at the same time you could feel that it was full.  it was full of memory and emotion and a tangible feeling of honor and love.  it struck me that i cannot fathom how anyone would ever feel comfortable being in that room unless someone they loved was represented there.  i'm deeply grateful that a place for these families exists, and i'm honored to have it just down the street, but it is terrifying and overwhelming and incredibly intense at the same time.  never has my connection with the military been so deeply touched as when i was in the yellow room.

a super fun weekend

so i'm back to work fresh off of a nice 3 day weekend.  gotta love those!  we went back to the 'land of our fathers' in order to spend some time with charles' family.  his grandfather is not doing well and it's so difficult for charles to get back here, we felt that the long weekend was a good time for it.  we were trying to remember when the last time was that both of us went to wichita together and we couldnt, probably last summer i guess.
i also got to spend a good amount of time with charles' little sister, which was pretty awesome.  she and i have been able to get to know each other a lot better this last year and i am very happy to say that i am starting to remember what it's like to have a sister again.  the loss of the last one was pretty devistating, so i'm glad to be forming that bond again. 
sunday was our 5 year anniversary.  woo hoo!  it seems like longer to both of us, whatever that means.  i'm not going to waste time with smushy blogging about how awesome he is because he is in denial about the whole "blog situation" and doesnt read it anyway.  but suffice it to say, i plan to keep him around for a while longer.  we exchanged gifts on friday, mostly because he was so excited to give me mine that he didnt want to wait any longer.  keep in mind that we had already discussed that his gift to me would be a night out for a fancy dinner and a couples day spa adventure.  well low and behold, along with the world's best anniversary card, he decides to give me a little camaflouge dog collar.   that's right - beans and i finally wore him down!  i have already been speaking to a couple of breeders and hope to be picking up another little daschund puppy within a couple weeks!  :D  oh the adventures we will have!  apparently charles and beans have already extensively discussed the expansion of our little family and much to his appreciation, beans managed to keep the secret.  even more impressive is the fact that my MOM knew about it and didnt say anything. 
i went this morning for a sonogram.  before starting me on clomid the doctor wanted to poke around.  what a way to start the morning...  but the perscription is filled and i will start the drugs tomorrow!  i am anxiously awaiting a call this afternoon from my doctor's office to explain the next steps.  this has been an extremely stressful process.  i have talked to women who have tried for 7 or 8 years to have a baby and it makes me very sad.  we've only tried just over 2 and already i dont think i could handle another 2.  there are only so many cycles that can be explained away, and coupled with the ever-present military life factor (schools, deployments, etc) - time is just not something that we wait for around here.  but alas, that's the way it goes.  we have great insurance and a supportive bunch of people up here, so we'll be fine.
that's about it for now.

awesomenosity

ok, i'm back.  pins and needles, right?  pins.  and.  needles.  waiting to hear about MichelleLand.  so without further ado:
Fertility -
i have it.  charles doesnt. 
we FINALLY were able to get through all the military doctor mumbo jumbo/scheduling BS and get ourselves to an infertility specialist a couple weeks ago.  yes, we've been trying to get pregnant for over 2 years.  i am very very pleased with how the initial appointment went.  pending some lab results, we are hopeful that will will be able to take our first round of clomid and do an insemination in june.  JUNE!  yes, it's very exciting, and scary, but mostly exciting.  this whole process is monumentally frustrating on so many different levels.  with the insemination there is a 10% higher chance of getting twins.  and as terrifiying as that thought is, we would welcome it just to get this process over with.  holy.  crap.  so our doctor will do an insemination 3 times before moving to a more aggressive treatment.  we will have a few hundred dollars out of pocket cost for each of these initial treatments and the cost will go up considerably with each new kind of treatment we try.  but really, i'm pretty confident that this will work.  we just have a little bit of number tweaking to do but otherwise we're fine. 
but for the record, don't expect to get any confirmation out of me any time soon if we are actually blessed with our miracle(s).  there will be tight lips for a couple months this time around, i learned my lesson with the first miscarriage, we're not telling anyone till we've passed the first trimester.  and if you ask, i am fully prepared to lie straight to the computer screen.  (and i'm a damn good computer liar)
Weight Loss -
i've been exercising regularly since february.  here in the last month or so i've really kicked it up a notch and have been working with a trainer.  it's been going swimmingly!  my weight held steady at a whopping 196 for about 7 weeks but i was losing inches.  (dont know how many, probably should have measured)  finally last friday it had crept down to 195.  yippe friggen skippy.  but hey, i still look much better and feel MUCH better and i know i am on a good path now.  i started round 2 of another 4 weeks with the trainer this week.  i've also joined a gym.  granted, the gyms on post are free to use but the classes are about $3 each.  but i joined a gym out in town frequented by the wives of the unit charles was supposed to deploy with.  i figure it is the best way to connect with them, so i've been going to classes with them and spending  more time onthe weekends getting to know them and hanging out. 
Extra Curricular Activities -
FRG - Family Readiness Group.  the FRG is the group for families to be ready?  no.  group for families and soldiers in the unit (Company).  for example: charles is in the 40th Military Police Batallion.  (aka 40th MPBN)  so anyway, there's a "forward" unit and a "rear detachment" unit within the 40th.  forward being those currently deployed or "down range", rear being those left behind to support them.  so the FRG is for all, to support the families on both end, and to bring them all together when part of the group is deployed.  well it sounds all well and good, but in reality the FRG can easily become a breeding ground for rumors and power-hungry b-hags.  when they initally deployed, we had a super awesome FRG leader.  but she quickly became overwhelmed and due to lack of support, she stepped down.  now the chick leading it is completely incompetent, unorganized and rude.  consequently, all the nice ladies left here with husbands in iraq are getting crapped on.  so although charles and i continue to go to the FRG meetings to show our support for those who DO actually go to meetings and try to deal with the meany pants leader, we also have taken it upon ourselves to get more involved with the families themselves and just bypass the FRG thing too.  hence the gym membership. 
Home Improvement - we (read: charles and my dad) have done some more remodeling on the house.  the guest room in the basement is done and now the guest bathroom.  the walls and ceilings are white, as are the trim and doors.  i'm not a fan of the white walls.  a number of "discussions" have taken place over the damn white walls, but i finally conceded on the condition that the rest of the house (living room and upstairs living areas, bedrooms, kitchen) WILL be colored.  and once we get it all done, i can start decorating.  i LOVE to decorate.  and you can trust me when i say that you will not be able to tell that the walls are white when i get done decorating those damn plain ass white rooms.  meh!
Charles - surgery #2 will come up this summer.  he is anxious to get it over with. 
that's about all i can come up with now.  sorry i dont have any pictures to go along with it.  i rarely get on the computer at home and i cannot upload pictures to my work computer.  i'd say you could check my facebook page, but other than the mobile uploads, there's not really anything  new there either.  we had a hot valentines day date and a couple of get togethers plus all the home improvement - all made for some pretty great photos which are conveniently still in the camera.  alas, maybe some day...

health

so a few minutes ago as i was refilling my water glass at work i was thinking about my coworker delorise.  she had sauntered down the hall earlier complaining about how tired she has been lately and i realized that even though i literally do NOTHING almost all day long at work, i have actually been pretty alert throughout the whole day.  not tired at all (for the most part).  i have decided this is due to my healthier eating habits and for lack of anything else to do, i figured i'd brag.
did you know that greek yogurt has just a few more calories than regular, but more than twice the fiber?  and that 1 heart-healthy serving of oatmeal can be ready in the microwave in less than 2 minutes?  how bout that the comissary sells steamfresh bags of mixed vegetables for $1.25.  i'm eating one now for lunch, which will fill me up for a good 3 hrs, and it has about 210 calories. 
i've been really trying to get in my servings of fruits, vegetables and dairy each day, and going a bit easier on the grains.  all my grains are whole grains, but that doesnt give me leave to have an entire week's worth of grains each day... amazingly enough.
i weighed myself a couple days ago, and even with the pre-monthly visitor bloatage, i was still down a couple pounds since last time, which was post christmas carnage.  and since body image is always a battle for everyone, i have decided that my waist is getting smaller, even if i am imagining it, and that my stomach, which has long been considered my nemisis, isnt all that bad.  now my thighs could use some work, but at least that battle isnt as extreme.  so overall, i'm feeling good! 
next week i will begin the exercise assault and i'm pretty excited about it.  this is the first time i have done so well with healthy eating and by already seeing results, i am exponentially encouraged to see MORE results through exercise.  in the grand scheme of things, i dont have "that much" to lose, i just need to beat my own laziness and get it going - which isnt too bad of a battle after all.
and for the record, the "Farmer's Blend of cauliflower florets, sugar snap peas, julienne carrots and dried cranberries lightly tossed in a butter sauce" is DELICIOUS!!   :)

a bit of michelle world

Tending to families is a priority for the Army - NBCActionNews.com - Kansas City

horay for 2011

so i saw that many of the blogs i follow had been recently updated and, although i dont have much to say and have absolutely no pictures to post, i thought i'd go ahead and give it a whirl anyway.
the last couple of weeks have been pretty awesome.  i can't believe christmas has come and gone already, but it sure has.  going into the holidays, i was pretty miserable and funky with the deployment looming over us, but as that was taken away from us at the last second, charles and i were both left with a feeling of extreme disorientation and did a bit of frantic scrambling to resurrect some christmas spirit afterall.  he spent the week of christmas with his family, who did an AWESOME job of cheering him up.  seriously, they came through for him better than i could have ever imagined.  when i finally joined him back home, i found him happy and calm, more so than i've seen him in a long time.  with that attitude, we were able to plow through the usual christmas weekend events with relative peace and truely had a wonderful time. 
out new year celebration was pretty low key.  we had a few friends over for snacks and they all had returned home by 11:30 or so, leaving us to sit on the couch in the dark snuggled under a blanket with the dog to watch the ball drop on tv together.  it was perfect.  i still can't believe how my attitude towards this year has changed so much in the last few weeks, but WOW.  it's going to be a great year, one of the best.  i just know it!
charles is still off work and his ear surgery will take place this wednesday.  he is a bit nervous, as there are a number of scary complications possible.  plus, we don't really know what it will be like afterwards.  we're expecting vertigo and almost complete hearing loss in his right ear for the next 6 months.  admittedly, the ear surgery is more pressing on an immediate level, he has also been reminded a time or two that he should use this time off work to persue medical assistance in the fertility department also.  he assures me that once his surgery is done, he will work on that, but right now he only wants to worry about one at a time.  of course that's completely fair, i'm just antsy.
he started work on the guest room downstairs.  he scraped the popcorn off the ceiling and plans to seal it today.  with any luck, we could be painting within a couple of weeks!  i think the possibility of a baby this year has lit a fire under his butt with the home renovations.  we can't renovate the designated nursery room until we renovate the guest room so that we have a place to put the crap that currently lives in the nursery room. 
i'm still really struggling with my laziness, and especially after how much candy and party food and just JUNKola i have eaten in the last couple of weeks, i am feeling really fat and sluggish.  i had intended to somewhat clear out the crap room with my elliptical machine in it this weekend, but most of that is christmas stuff and afgans and sewing stuff from grandma kelly's house.  i dont know where to put  a lot of it.  i think i need to do a major house purge. 
it has just occurred to me that i have typed a bit of a novel with absolutely no point other than updating a couple people on the lameness that is my life.  it's almost like a one-sided conversation!  bla/