catching up Pt 3: wedding & dogs

so mom came up this weekend so that we could go together to the wedding of my friend Angela. i was angela's RCIA sponsor a few years ago and she asked me to read the readings at her wedding. it was a beautiful and simple ceremony and it gave me a very much needed feeling of peace to be surrounded by so much love and Lord. and the readings were very beautiful too, so i enjoyed reading them for Angela and Cliff. i snuck a picture with her at the reception before leaving. i look like a guiness book of world records freakishly tall woman standing next to her... or that i'm about to eat her... one of the two. you decide:

(in my defense, she's MAYBE 5 feet tall, and i was wearing heels) so anyway, since the dogs had been in their crates a good chunk of the day while mom and i went to the wedding, we decided to run them around a bit before stashing them back in their crates for the traditional shopping and eating extravaganza that takes place whenever we're together. i happened to remember that there is a new dog park on post and so we loaded up the 3 crazies and took them out there to run around. they had a great time and it was halarious to watch beanie and angel run around and chase each other. the grass was kinda tall so beanie did her squirrel jumping through the grass business, much to my enjoyment. i couldnt get any good running pictures because they move too fast.
here's the most adorable dog in the world, beanie:

Beanie and Angel, checking in:

Betsy was the first to crap out:

catching up Pt 2: earth

this is a picture i took of the clouds over my neighbor's house a week or so ago. i had been outside with the dog and then the clouds started looking very strange and ominous so i ran for the camera. about 2 minutes after i got inside, the hail started. it looked like this:





clearly, i was freaking out quite a bit. this was another occasion when i desperately was wishing i owned a working radio or could get a tv channel to check the weather. my computer is far from reliable, plus, i dont particularly like to have it on during bad storms. but there was BIG hail! thankfully, it only lasted a few minutes. but it was a very tense few minutes for beanie and i (well, really just me, she didnt know what was going on... but i snuggled with her and pretended as though SHE were the one scared and not me).
and this is how i spent my sunday evening: I MADE A GARDEN!! horay me!
it's clearly not very big, but looks much better than the patch of weeds looked before hand. and i think my $12 box of plastic bricks look lovely. i had potted plants in the back yard but there is a huge tree behind my shed and it drops little dingleberries everywhere and attracts lots of bugs and spiders (eeek!). so i hate to sit back there and cannot enjoy my serenty. so i swept off the porch and picked up all the newspapers strung all over it and then started playing in the dirt. my strawberry plant in the round pot is doing very well, even though i've only gotten one tiny berry off of it alls ummer. and a coworker gave me a bunch of chicks and hens, the green things, last weekend so i'm hoping they are still alive after sittng on the porch all week. and then i bought a pretty pink flower because i felt like it. the long pot has a new attempt at morning glories, this time WITHOUT the holes on the bottom plugged up. for a few weeks now the most sucessful plantlife i've had is algae on my morning glory pot. but no more! i think this will be fabulous. i need lawn art or something cheesy like that.

catching up Pt 1: on fashion

I AM a sexy bitch!!! i also have a serious hereditary illness having something to do with spending too much money on clothes and shoes..

so in the name of some hard core 'retail therapy', i have spent the last 2 or 3 weeks storming through every store i can find buying clothes and many other misc. things in an attempt to drown my sorrows or squash my stress or something like that.

an interesting discovery was made at old navy: Members Only jackets are cool? i'm serious, amidt all the hordes of sweaters that "could maybe be just a sweater, or is it a dress?" and the ruffley tank tops with glitter, i saw a rack of members only jackets... you know, the kind that was made fun of on the vh1 'remember the 80s" stuff? yea. now. at old navy. sure!

but i DID find some wonderful things all the same. i had my first experience at a bananna republic. my preconceptions were correct, it is VERY expensive. however, much to my enjoyment, just about everything cool in the store was at least 50% off, thus making it much closer to my price range. Behold: my new skirt!

and the swanky shoes (which i already had, but were especially sassy with this outfit):

speaking of shoes. guess what? Payless doesnt suck anymore!!! and in celebration of the fact that they actually had an abondence of awesome shoes, i bought 5 pairs!! yes, i AM insane. but i am also really great at justifying purchases. i dont have pictures of my 5 new pairs of shoes, but that's ok. just the fact htat i have them should be enough. i am very silly.

so yes, you cant see the shoes that go with this very well, but they're totally cool! elizabeth, these are the 40 foot high teal summery ones. i bought a linen suit at old navy a couple weeks ago and then on one of my recent adventures i found this fun top in my size and this nice cardigan both on clearance! i do love old navy. :o)

not going outside!!!

so there is a storm happening right now and it is so intense that it doesnt really look real. it reminds me of that movie "the perfect storm" when you know that it is all fake and you can just imagine that there are wind and rain machines just out of sight that are blowing everything all over the place. that's what it looks like here. i hope it eases up soon because i am wanting to go out to the Legends - an outdoor mall - today. but as of now, i dont think i would even make it to my car from the front door without getting soaked. no thanks. made it back from church just in time!
so i wanted to provide an update for those who have expressed concern for my emotional state. i have heard from charles twice since my last post - thank God! he is fine, just had his 2nd day off taken away from him and has been super busy. somehow in his mind, it makes sense that the only proper and sufficient way to make contact with your wife is to wait until you have enough time to have a lengthy conversation by phone or computer. however, i think he is beginning to understand that that is not enitrely true because he called yesterday and we only talked for maybe 20 minutes because that's all the time he had. he said "i had a few minutes and thought i'd give you a call". i dont want to hope too much that the light bulb has gone on - but it was very nice all the same. i'll sure take what i can get!
you know, it's times like these that i wish i had cable - or even a working radio. i know not to worry about tornados because the guy at the front gate said we are under severe thunderstorm watch until 5pm. i am taking his word for it, as i am watching a pretty severe thunderstorm happen outside right now. but it would be nice to know if there is more on the way. oh well.

reflecting

here's what's on my mind: the love languages. for purposes of general information - charles shows his love through trust and respect. i show mine through attention and affection. yes, we both love each other very much but we show it in the way that we wish to recieve it for ourselves more than we show it in the way that the other person needs to get it. why is this an issue? because we are in totally differnet parts of the world for 9 more months and although i know well that my husband loves me very much - there are times when i feel like i am getting absolutely no signs of that. he works long hours and many days in a row, and then after work he does PT, then goes to the gym, then has to come home and do his own laundry, clean his room, find food, do whatever else. so i understand that i should not expect to talk to him every day. and i dont. fine. super duper. that's life. but i email him almost every day with just tidbits of information such as: what's on my mind, what i'm doing, how work is going, etc. i do not expect lengthy accounts of his life down there. but it would really be nice to get a sentence or two once or twice a week just to let me know that he's thinking about me or how he's doing. i get nothing. i've told him before that it would be nice to get things like that, but i dont think he understands how important it is to me that i get just a bit more of his attention. he appreciates the emails that i send him, but he has made it clear that they are not necessary because he knows that i am thinking of him every day without recieving an email telling him so. well i'm glad that they're not neccessary for HIM, but that doesnt mean that they're not a bit necessary for ME. this concept has not yet sunk in on his end. i was hoping to talk to him in the last couple of days because i knew he was off work. usually on his days off he goes to the beach or out on the boat with some friends. i dont expect him to spend his days off cooped up in his room talking to me. i understand very well from my own experiences that it is unhealthy to spend days upon end of all your free time by yourself just pining for your spouse and staring at the walls. so i'm happy for him that he has diversions. but when he can get 2 days off to get things done and then go have fun with your friends and he chooses to do the fun stuff INSTEAD of talking to his wife or even sending her a brief note or ANYTHING at all, then i am going to feel a bit left out. ok - a lot left out. i want so badly to just ask him what number i am. does it go: wife, work, fun with friends? or work, fun with friends, wife? cause that's kinda what i'm feeling like right now. i am finding plenty of ways to keep myself occupied without him. but that's just the problem - i'd rather be finding ways to keep myself occupied but still feeling his presence at all times in a sense other than "i wish i knew he was thinking of me". i cleaned the house hard core yesterday, but then when i was finished and sitting down to watch a movie, i was wondering: why did i do that? it makes me feel better, yes. but i wanted the house to be clean and it makes me feel like i want to prepare a clean and happy home for my husbands return but he doesnt want to be a part of it right now.
dont know if any of that makes sense, i just wanted to rant.

here i sit

on this fine saturday morning i happened to be signed on and the computer happens to be functioning properly so i will take advantage of this allignment in the stars to type a blog. not much happening in the lonely buford house today. beanie is licking the couch. she is an odd one. i trap her in the computer room with me so as to not give her an opportunity to poop all over the house (which backfired a little bit ago because just just stood behind my back and dropped a load) so she uses the time to either sleep or sit on the groovy pink pinapple couch and lick it. ok...
i emersed myself in an interesting cultural experience last night: bar hopping in the thriving metropolis of leavenworth, kansas. yikes. one of my coworkers is at the epicenter of insanity at work because of the time of year and her job position, plus, she just ended a 5 year relationship. so a couple of us decided we all needed to get out and about. i was not ABOUT to spend the gas to drive to a bar in KC, plus, drinks would be rediculously expensive and it would be too crowded with 22 year old slutty people. no thanks. so leavenworth it was. the first bar was actually pretty nice. they food wasnt bad, and i was able to try my hand at shuffleboard. not that shuffleboard is at all complicated, but i was surprised to find that i'm not too bad at it and i look forward to trying again. i enjoy going out for drinks on occasion but i am so vastly inexperienced and always on the lookout for new beverages to try. and i like shots. that way, you get some taste, but if it's not a good taste, then it's not enough to have wasted your money. so i tried 2 new shots: sicilian kiss: southern comfort and amaretto. and peach fuss (i think?): southern comfort and peach shcnapps. both were good. then i had some parrot bay and pineapple juice. quite enjoyable. horay for trying new things!
the 2nd place we went to was apparently a regular hang out of christinas. this was not the scene i would have oridanrily placed myself in, but it was fun all the same. the sproting event of choice at "Tom's" was darts. i am very grateful that there was such a relaxed atmosphere at Toms because i am absolutely horrible at darts. i am also very grateful that they had the plastic pointed tip instead of metal because i accidentally dropped it on my toe and was wearing flip flopps - effectively stabing myself in the toe. i think that takes some skill. i also did some dancing. there was kareoke and all that amounted to was country song after country song and drunk hillbilly mumblings not even close to the actual tune of the song. but towards the end of the night they randomly threw in the electric slide and cha cha cha or soemthing like that so the 3 or us girls ran to the floor, much to the enjoyment of the disgusting old drunk people at the nearest tables, and danced along - thus bringing the total on the dancefloor to 5. i know i am not doing justice to the atmosphere of this place. despite how totally disgusting it was, it was really a lot of fun. but at the same time, i'm good not to go there again. although it was nice to get out of the house. i am missing my husband terribly and have spent the last couple of nights hanging out at home just wishing he would call. so diversionary tactics of last night were good.
on another note: i did get to talk to him for 3 minutes yesterday but i was in the middle of an inspection and he was on his way out the door. he met with the surgeon about his back and they seem to think he has some sort of condition resembling arthritis in his pelvis and he will be getting injections. that's all i was really able to get out of the conversation and i'm very much hoping that he will call today. havent talked to him since last sunday otherwise and it sucks much.

well yes

as i logged on so as to post some silliness on elizabeth's blog, i figured i might as well take advantage of this opportunity to update mine as well. and iiiiiiii do have pictures to post:

this is all the Bean-dog does. well, she's either doing this, or following me around, trying to chew on my fingers, giving me some much-needed "puppy huggies", or squeaking on something, as is the case right now. i just thought this picture was cute cause of her little ear. plus, i took it sitting from the kitchen table, so i was impressed by the zoom capabilities of my camera.

Behold: the Angel sandwich. this was taken at mom and dad's over memorial weekend. after a wonderful day of mom and i and some friends sitting in the courtyard on the chaise lounges, Angel (mom's dog, Beanie's sister), in true Camacho fashion, decided she didnt really want to get off the lounge c hair. mom and i stacked all the cushions on top of her yet she still wasnt about to get off. after carrying the pile of cushions, including the dog, to the garage, we finally just dumped her off so we could put everything away.

these are my exceptionally beautiful Anniversary Flowers that my co-workers gave me last thursday. they also bought a cake and everyone signed a card. it was very sweet of them and i appreciate the fact that they went out of their way to recognize the situation. i went out to dinner with a couple coworkers that night too and had a good time. charles has promised that we will go out and do something special when he returns. i am very much looking forward to it. but in the mean time, at least i have pretty flowers to look at on my kitchen table!

this is actually kind of old - it was taken at the Stilwell (Charles' mom's family) 'memorial picnic' that was held at the end of March when his grandpa died. this is me (moo) holding our goddaughter, Breanne. for those who know, Breanne is Matt and Nikki's daughter, matt being Charles' cousin. She's very chunky and snuggly and cute.

other than fun pictures, i dont have much to share. i've been working more than usual because of the super busy season. everyone take a moment now to thank God that you are not an incoming resident to fort leavenworth because if you were, you'd be screwed! i also spent the vast majority of sunday cleaning the house. it looks nice. you should see my filing cabinet! it has stuff in it! i should take a picture actually, i'm pretty proud of it. this computer room was one of those random silly things that was majorly stressing me out in the beginning of the deployment because it is just so full of clutter and crap that it is not at all a peaceful place to be. the basement is another such part of the house, but i am convinced that it is full of spiders who are waiting for me to go down there without laundry to defend myself so they can attack me and eat me until i die. so i'm not quite ready to clean that out, not until my daddy can be here to protect me.

otherwise, life is good. i continue to eat well and take the fat burnng pills and exercise... i also continue to not fit in my size 10 pants. but that day will come. charles told me the other day that he now might not be able to come home until october or november instead of september. so i have an extra month at least to get all hot and stuff before he comes home to visit. i continue to adjust to life without him. i have learned that it really is a "process" of many different types of discovery and examination. There are still days that it is difficult, but for the most part, this is just my life and i'm ok. i choose to make myself happy and i choose to believe that so many things are possible - even when i know it is just me accomplishing them. i see this as the best way to go about life in general right now. it's strange, i like to look at the military just as his 'job', because taht's what it is. the military is not our marriage, the military is what he works for and our marriage is the same, he just happens to be somewhere else. so everything else is just life. quite simple really, just takes some adjustments sometimes.