Hello, and MY HOUSE IS CLEAN!!!

first of all, thanks very much to my lovely friends back home who have shown so much support through this bloggity thing and in many other ways. it means very much to me, especially on days when the going is tough. i ask as well for prayers for charles. i have gotten to talk to him a couple of times and he seems pretty miserable. on the day he got there, we spoke for 5 minutes and he seemed optimistic, very tired, and affectionate. it struck me in a very deep way how much it means to hear "i love you very much and miss you very much". those are phrases that people don't say often, at least i dont. maybe i'm a bit heartless, but i really dont miss too many people all that much. i love MANY people, but i dont dwell on how much i want to go shopping with mom or out to dinner with lizabeth or catch up with so many other friends. of course i feel those things, but there just isnt a need for me to say it. but when those words come from your spouse, your best friend, your confidant, your rock - and you know that although you've only been apart for a week or so, and it will be a few months before you get just a few days togther, then another few months again, it's just amazing how much those words mean!! it just rips my heart out! he misses me, and he needs to be with me, his safe place; just like i need him in the same way. but we can't. and we won't for quite a while. and we feel it.
on a less intense note: i have finally re-claimed my house from when we were in wichita and it was a DISASTER when we came home. i am very happy and beanie doesn't know what to think of all the clean floors. nose to the ground all the time.
speaking of beanie, she had her female operation yesterday. she's moving slowly and isnt wimpering too much today. i paid the extra $20 for pain pills for her so she wouldnt hurt. i hate it that she hurts at all and is not her usual peppy self. my mom says this feeling of misery and guilt and helplessness is what it feels like to be a mom. bless you all who are already parents, because i'm gonna be a big mush ball when it's my turn!