Friday, September 4, 2015

journal: september

so my office has moved and I'm now in the very front of the building, entirely too close to the main doors for my comfort, with my boss and boss' boss at my back. opportunities for blogging or checking blogs at work have been thin on the ground. but the stars have aligned and here I am today to check in.
out the window:
it's a nice day today, plenty sunny and maybe a little warm. but it's definitely been a mild summer and I'm glad that fall is on the way. it's my favorite season, hands down. I'm all about a good disguisitory wardrobe. and this will be the year that I can fit into some of my cuter clothes.
wearing:
jeans day today at work! heeeey! so jeans and a teal shirt from sams. in general, I do not spend money on my clothes. fortunately, my mom occasionally does. without mom I wouldn't have much. plus, she's been finding some super great and cheap fabric at the estate sales that they like to check out, and has made me a number of skirts and dresses. but yes, in the last several months I have bought myself 2 shirts from sams (and some underwear, if you must know). I won't spend more than $10 on clothes, especially for myself. so that works out well. my father in law sent me an old navy gift card for my bday and I plan to go later in the fall and buy some new work out pants, as one of my 2 pair have developed the dreaded thigh-chaffing hole. I figure if they don't have work out pants that will work, I might find a nice sweater or something then I only have to make 1 trip.
kids:
my lukey turns 1 tomorrow. I'm obviously biased, but I'm convinced that he's the cutest boy in the universe. he will definitely be my trouble maker though. his best smile is the one he gives when you tell him NO. he's recently discovered that he can feed the dogs from his high chair. so that's fun. it looks like a circle of alligators around his chair when he eats. he's learned about high fives, and his go to word is "uh oh!", typically preceded by the sound of his cup hitting the floor. he's only down to half a bottle before bed, and I imagine i'll put an end to that this weekend. *tear* it's sad, all of these "lasts". but am at peace with our decision to stop at 2 kids.
Cameron has been trying new things lately, he's quite the sassy mcsasserson. 3 is just an incredibly frustrating age I think. potty training is still a certifiable nightmare. I've bit the bullet and started buying pull ups because I got sick of having to throw away underwear because I couldn't handle washing a big slimy man poop out of them. he will sit on the potty for the most part when you make him, but he doesn't usually do anything but sing songs. he WILL NOT tell you when he has to go before it happens, and will rarely tell you that he has gone afterwards. he just plain doesn't care. I've tried sticker charts and incentives and setting timers and nakedness and every other thing I can think of and nothing works. I know he won't be 15 and still in diapers, but I just didn't expect it to take this long. so other than the potty training thing and the attitude, he's doing ok. his imagination is really taking off and that's so cool to see! he still loves to go on "adventures", and since the grocery store is the only place we really ever go, he really enjoys the grocery store and will get excited every time we drive by one. he's incredibly intuitive of peoples feelings, especially mine. he knows when I'm getting frustrated and will say "mama, are you nice?" when he knows full well that I'm pissed off and decidedly NOT nice. it's very humbling and has a way of calming me down. maybe it's that he is so aware of it and that opens up the line to communicate why I'm upset and how we can work together to both get ourselves straightened out. Charles gets frustrated when I lose my shit but I think he's starting to see that Cameron and I have a system that is working fairly well.
in the kitchen:
I made that cheeseburger soup this week, that was good. last night I did a pork roast, I've been buying those pre-packaged marinated roasts and they're pretty good. tonight we'll probably clean out some leftovers and tomorrow we're having a cookout for lucas' birthday. spaghetti at some point in the future.
crafting:
yea, no.
reading:
the outlander series!!!!!!!!! OMG! I'm on the 3rd book. there are 8 of them with a 9th on the way. seriously, all I want to do is read. as it is, I've gone through 2 1/2 big books in less than a month. and given how much time I actually have to read, I'd say that's pretty good. I've not watched the series yet, apparently it's just the first half of the 1st book. the first book was published in 91, and my grandma and mom have been reading them since. so the books I'm reading belonged to grandma Kelly and it makes me extra happy to be sharing that with her. I wish I could talk to her about them. well, I wish I could talk to her about anything.
bringing me joy:
kids, husband, marriage, eating healthy and not being so puffy, exercising. I'm kicking some pretty good ass at work lately too, so that's fulfilling. I have a lot of extra job duties now, more State level things, and I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job at it. work used to be my "down time", but definitely not anymore. it IS still at least my time to not have to touch someone else's bodily fluids, but definitely not as relaxing.
thinking about:
my health. I had a chest pain scare last week that eventually sent me to the ER. they're not sure what it was other than to know that it at least was NOT my heart. still scary. I know my cholesterol is bad, and I'm pre-diabetic. so I'm just really doing what I can to fix myself. next week I'm seeing the nutritionist for a "cholesterol class", whatever that is, and will have my numbers checked at the end of the month with the possibility of going on medication.
single parenting. again. this round will last about 3 months and will be zero fun. but at least now I'm not going to be on that crazy summer schedule, so overall, while it will be lonely and stressful and difficult and sad, I am confident that I will handle it much better than I did this summer because I wont be on 10 hr days and will have time to hit the gym a couple times a week. mostly, I'm in awe of my husband. he has missed so much of the boys at this age. I could not bear it as gracefully as he does. his strength is truly amazing.
pictures:
yea, I haven't taken many lately. and anything of quality goes on facebook. so there ya go.