i know i'm a couple posts behind, but the general theme of both of them is love. i have experienced such an outpouring of love lately in so many different ways; but i just read this article on cnn.com and it spoke of one version of love and so i thought i'd share it here:
http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2012/01/28/my-faith-what-people-talk-about-before-they-die/?hpt=hp_c2
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Ms.Gwartney's class
i dont talk a lot about my job, mostly because it's not really interesting. i am an administrative assistant for the special education department which covers 2 school districts. i push papers, send emails and can make a mean spreadsheet. i've never worked in a school district or had anything to do with special education (not counting one of my previous managers...). so this job has given me a pretty healthy dose of ignorance and i am doing my best to muddle through as i learn new acronyms and laws, etc.
well today i had occasion to visit a class at one of our elementary schools. the teacher, ms. gwartney, and i have corresponded via emails often for various requests and she has invited me a number of times to walk over to her classrooms. i have put it off for a couple of months because truth be told, i was scared of what i would see. her class contains the most severely disabled kids in the county. all are nonverbal and for the most part immoble.
she took me around the room and introduced me to each student. obviously they were all completely adorable. the first one, a little boy, is 13. he has cerbal palsey and was folded up in a swing of sorts with headphones on chewing on a teething toy and moaning to himself. he looked to be content, although the teacher explained that he was a bit fussy because he didnt feel well. last friday, in this class of 6 kids, they had 11 incidences of diarreha that soaked through clothes. this one little boy alone had a gran mal seizure which caused him to throw up and soil himself and the swing while also rendering himself unconscious for about 30 minutes, during which time the teacher had to hold him.
another little girl was sitting at a table staring intently out of her right eye into a plastic ball that lights up. when the teacher called her name to introduce her to me, she turned to stare at me with that right eye while her left eye was completely clouded over and pointing a different direction.
the little guy i was most anxious to meet is sean. i did a feature on sean for the district newsletter. two years ago, the post newspaper did a story on sean and his family because the make-a-wish foundation had granted him what they believed to be his wish: a trip to disney world. sean can not speak or walk and only recently has he been able to somewhat feed himself. he has an extremely rare brain disease, among other things, that is pretty much progressively turning his brain into mashed potatos. yet somehow, in this classroom, he has made some pretty extrodinary progress. as i say, he's mostly off the feeding tube and is more responsive than he used to be, he can sign a couple of things. sean's condition is such that he was only given 4-5 years of life - total. he is 5. when his teacher asked about the newsletter feature to find out when i would be sending it, i told her that it would go out today. "good!", she said. "his dad is leaving for deployment next week." ..........can you imagine? there have got to be so many "what if's" in that house that i wonder how there is any room left for the people!
students aside, the teacher herself is clearly someone special. you don't often see people who love their job as much as she does. she told me that she retired from another school district after 35 years only to return to this district to do the same work 4 years ago. she glows. truly, she glows. she sees God every day in these poor sweet kids and there is not a single doubt in her mind that her day is as full of love and service as it possibly could be. to me, that room was full of intensity and fear; to her - love. it's just amazing.
well today i had occasion to visit a class at one of our elementary schools. the teacher, ms. gwartney, and i have corresponded via emails often for various requests and she has invited me a number of times to walk over to her classrooms. i have put it off for a couple of months because truth be told, i was scared of what i would see. her class contains the most severely disabled kids in the county. all are nonverbal and for the most part immoble.
she took me around the room and introduced me to each student. obviously they were all completely adorable. the first one, a little boy, is 13. he has cerbal palsey and was folded up in a swing of sorts with headphones on chewing on a teething toy and moaning to himself. he looked to be content, although the teacher explained that he was a bit fussy because he didnt feel well. last friday, in this class of 6 kids, they had 11 incidences of diarreha that soaked through clothes. this one little boy alone had a gran mal seizure which caused him to throw up and soil himself and the swing while also rendering himself unconscious for about 30 minutes, during which time the teacher had to hold him.
another little girl was sitting at a table staring intently out of her right eye into a plastic ball that lights up. when the teacher called her name to introduce her to me, she turned to stare at me with that right eye while her left eye was completely clouded over and pointing a different direction.
the little guy i was most anxious to meet is sean. i did a feature on sean for the district newsletter. two years ago, the post newspaper did a story on sean and his family because the make-a-wish foundation had granted him what they believed to be his wish: a trip to disney world. sean can not speak or walk and only recently has he been able to somewhat feed himself. he has an extremely rare brain disease, among other things, that is pretty much progressively turning his brain into mashed potatos. yet somehow, in this classroom, he has made some pretty extrodinary progress. as i say, he's mostly off the feeding tube and is more responsive than he used to be, he can sign a couple of things. sean's condition is such that he was only given 4-5 years of life - total. he is 5. when his teacher asked about the newsletter feature to find out when i would be sending it, i told her that it would go out today. "good!", she said. "his dad is leaving for deployment next week." ..........can you imagine? there have got to be so many "what if's" in that house that i wonder how there is any room left for the people!
students aside, the teacher herself is clearly someone special. you don't often see people who love their job as much as she does. she told me that she retired from another school district after 35 years only to return to this district to do the same work 4 years ago. she glows. truly, she glows. she sees God every day in these poor sweet kids and there is not a single doubt in her mind that her day is as full of love and service as it possibly could be. to me, that room was full of intensity and fear; to her - love. it's just amazing.
Monday, January 2, 2012
ok ok ok
so yes, i apologize for my pissy rant in the last post. thank you for reading and thank you for not calling me a crazy loser bitch. i could easily blame hormones but that just seems like cheating.
after much time snuggling with an ice pack, my back improved. still have no idea what was wrong. many people have recommended the chiropractor but frankly i can't afford it so whenever things get sore, i bust out the heating pad and hope for the best. today is the first day of the 3rd trimester, and if it goes as quickly as the last 2, which it will, then this will all be over soon and i will then embark upon a whole new set of issues i'm sure.
my friend katie has made it to her destination. she said goodbye to her family just befor new years and is now adjusting to life in one of the absolute worst places anyone could be in a country full of people who want to kill her - afganistan. it scares the hell out of me. her most recent FB status update was simply: "this sucks". obviously, i am often upset by and disgusted with the serious disconnect that so many people have with the military. as my wise mother pointed out - people do not take the time to familiarize themselves with an aspect of life taht does not relate to them. this is so true. in my mind, i need to cut everyone a lot more slack than i do. just because something is so important to me does not mean that it should be important to everyone else. *sigh* i'm not sure if this train of thought makes me a selfish or self-less person by wanting everyone else to share my enthusiasm for the military life; but i suspect that considering the fact that i even have to ponder that distinction makes it a selfish thought. perhaps i should try to use this space as it was intended - a place to share these random thoughts and less of a place to preach them. alas, i am "a crazy pregnant lady" (as i was called a number of times in the past couple of weeks). i can only hope that this will pass and i can once again reel in my tounge because quite frankly, pregnancy makes me mean.
our 2 weeks in wichita were passed beautifully. there was much time spent in pjs and taking naps. i have developed such an appreciation for charles' family - they are so awesome! they are all so loving and accepting, the more time i spend with them the more grateful i am for their love in my life and they show me so much about the type of person i should be more often than i am. (follow that?) it's much easier to be judgemental, but brings so much more happiness to just love unconditionally. and for the sake of fair representation - we had a lovely time with my parents also. they both enjoyed "belly watch 2011" and got to participate in belly karate practice. we missed cameron terribly. he was in washington with his wife and her daughter, so he probably wasn't really missing us much though. i did get a "happy new years chunks" text and a brief text-versation ensued during which he addressed me as "pregnosaurus", which was pretty awesome. but we hope to see him in september for the air show. the rotation seems to be about 3 days together every 2 years. as my own little family becomes more present in my life, i find myself missing the rest of my family even more. but anyway, once i download the pictures i took over break from my camera i will try to give a more comprehensive account of our activities for the last couple of weeks.
after much time snuggling with an ice pack, my back improved. still have no idea what was wrong. many people have recommended the chiropractor but frankly i can't afford it so whenever things get sore, i bust out the heating pad and hope for the best. today is the first day of the 3rd trimester, and if it goes as quickly as the last 2, which it will, then this will all be over soon and i will then embark upon a whole new set of issues i'm sure.
my friend katie has made it to her destination. she said goodbye to her family just befor new years and is now adjusting to life in one of the absolute worst places anyone could be in a country full of people who want to kill her - afganistan. it scares the hell out of me. her most recent FB status update was simply: "this sucks". obviously, i am often upset by and disgusted with the serious disconnect that so many people have with the military. as my wise mother pointed out - people do not take the time to familiarize themselves with an aspect of life taht does not relate to them. this is so true. in my mind, i need to cut everyone a lot more slack than i do. just because something is so important to me does not mean that it should be important to everyone else. *sigh* i'm not sure if this train of thought makes me a selfish or self-less person by wanting everyone else to share my enthusiasm for the military life; but i suspect that considering the fact that i even have to ponder that distinction makes it a selfish thought. perhaps i should try to use this space as it was intended - a place to share these random thoughts and less of a place to preach them. alas, i am "a crazy pregnant lady" (as i was called a number of times in the past couple of weeks). i can only hope that this will pass and i can once again reel in my tounge because quite frankly, pregnancy makes me mean.
our 2 weeks in wichita were passed beautifully. there was much time spent in pjs and taking naps. i have developed such an appreciation for charles' family - they are so awesome! they are all so loving and accepting, the more time i spend with them the more grateful i am for their love in my life and they show me so much about the type of person i should be more often than i am. (follow that?) it's much easier to be judgemental, but brings so much more happiness to just love unconditionally. and for the sake of fair representation - we had a lovely time with my parents also. they both enjoyed "belly watch 2011" and got to participate in belly karate practice. we missed cameron terribly. he was in washington with his wife and her daughter, so he probably wasn't really missing us much though. i did get a "happy new years chunks" text and a brief text-versation ensued during which he addressed me as "pregnosaurus", which was pretty awesome. but we hope to see him in september for the air show. the rotation seems to be about 3 days together every 2 years. as my own little family becomes more present in my life, i find myself missing the rest of my family even more. but anyway, once i download the pictures i took over break from my camera i will try to give a more comprehensive account of our activities for the last couple of weeks.
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