i have somehow managed to hurt my back, just below my left shoulder blade. combine that loveliness with the fact that i can't do more than take 2 tylonol (which are doing absolutely nothing btw), it hurt so bad i couldnt sleep for the last 2 nights, and i'm hungry all the time - today is not a super happy day. if i thought i would feel better from home, i would totally leave work right now but the only thing that would accomplish is a smaller paycheck, which i can't afford. *pissy*
being the pissy person that i am, shamelessly rambling on a blog that apparently no one reads, i'm going to acknowledge that fact and accept the conclusion that apparently i don't care because i havent yet deleted it. perhaps having a forum to rant is ok, or perhaps i'm just too lazy to do what i would perceive as "rocking the boat" by dropping off the face of the earth to some people. either way, i choose not to make that decision in my current state of painful pissiness.
on another mostly unrelatable note - one of the many friends who have moved away inthe last year came over last night for dinner. our friend is preparing for another deployment, perhaps # 3? i'm not sure. either way, at some point in the next month or so, SHE will be saying goodbye to her husbandand THREE children (all under the age of 5) and heading to afganistan. i'm terrified for her. charles and i were talking last night and even though she is going to the worst possible place anyone could go, even within that country, she is rediculously excited about it and looks forward to "seeing some action" (her words). there is no better type of person to have in that situation protecting us, but i hate that it has to be her. but she wouldnt be as amazing as she is if she didnt love it the way she does. they are one of the best families i know, certainly one of the strongest. and charles is just the same. as we sat at the table eating our enchaladas last night, they were talking about her training and the types of things she will be doing. they both had serious stars in their eyes and charles' jealousy at her "real army" experiences was palpable. i love that about him and as scary as it is to even ponder that he could just as easily be in her shoes, i wish that for him. he is so proud of his service and he was made to do what he does, but the thought that he could go his entire career without "seeing that action" makes me sad for him. he deserves more than he has and he's earned the right to those opportunities. these soldiers that i know and love, they don't just work for a promotion, they LIVE as soldiers in hopes of having the chance to give 200% of themselves for our country and the people they love. that's not just a tag line - that's the truth. they put ontheir uniform every day, they commute to a job, they work 8, 10, 12, 16 hr days, they commute home and spend a bit of time with their families and they do it againthe next day. they do their thing every day just hoping and waiting for the piece of paper that will tell them that it's their turn to go to the other side of the world, eat powdered eggs and MREs, sleep on a cot in the sand and miss out ona year with their families. they're not all that great - but the ones i love truely are. if you dont have people like that in your world, in your social sphere, i feel sorry for you. if you dont have close friends like that, it's a shame. sure - you know good husbands and fathers and spiritual people and friends. but i get to know people who are all those things PLUS soldiers. yep - i'm totally bragging, and i dont care if it offends you. (see? still pissy) i could say that i hope that you DO get to be close to someone like that at some point, but even that doesnt really matter too much. because they will be there for you whether or not you are there for them. always.
