ALMOST TIME!

hey all, my computer at home is broken so excuse me while i check in to my blog at work... shhhh....
so, only 6 MORE DAYS until my husband is returned to me!!! he will be home for 29 days but i will clearly not be able to be off work for that long, but i will see him for most of it. we will be back home for the first week and then i will return here for work and he will stay there to shmooze with his family and friends. i will see him on the weekends and then the last week he will come back here and we will spend time together in as private as a way possible. the schedule is already filling up fast, as it always does when he's in town. while he is home we will have a party for him the first weekend, also his mother will get married and our goddaughter will have her first birthday party... so weekends are prime time for sure. he will finish up his back tattoo the first week and so far the rest of the time will be spent staring at people and probably eating.
speaking of which, i have succumed to the miracles of a fad diet. my scepticism has been rebuked as i have lost 6 pounds in 1 week on the south beach diet.. and that's with absolutely no exericse. so this is week 2 and i will be hitting the gym as much as possible in hopes that i'll lose at least another 6. horay for not being disgustingly chubby! i am mildly ashamed to admit that my heaviest to date has been 190 and i believe that was a stress-induced situation that started after he left. i am now sitting happily at 182 with more work to be done in the future. i was 160 when i got married and was not in any way toned, so i would be happy to be toned between 160-170... you know, fyi.
i plan to take lots of pictures when Charles is home so i will post them... assuming i have a computer that works at home. but i guess i can continue to be paid $15 an hour to play on the work computer.... horay!

it's finally over!

friends,

Baby showers here are NOT like they are back home. i have basically been planning that shower for about a month, working to get ready for at least 2 weeks, and spent probably about $300 on it all together. it was supposed to start at 3. come 3pm, myself and the co-hostess were ready; the mother and father to be plus a mother and sister-in-law were present. at 3:30, someone else came. 3:45 somene came, sat for 5 minutes, then left. 4:30, 2 more people had come. and we figured by that point we might as well start playing some games. it was an afternoon filled with awkward silences and not NEAR as much fun and friendship as i'm used to at showers. i wonder if people here, since they havent known the guest of honor for years and years, are no as emotionally invested in the situation? there were a few people who promised they would come and didnt even show up or call. there was one who called to say she would be late and never came at all (she even lives on post!). and the kicker is the one who, when invited, said "well, i was going to go to worlds of fun that day but i guess i can change my plans." who says that?! clearly i was totally and entirely disappointed in the level of friendship and support shown for the couple. granted, it was not all bad. they were both EXTREMELY grateful and appreciative of the trouble and the situation in general... but i was pretty upset.

so anyway, i'm glad it's over. very very glad it's over. it made me appreciate you all so much and reminded me how great of a group of friends i have.

Also, thanks very much to Elizabeth. I used the raspberry lemonade punch and it was a BIG hit! the amaretto brownies were very popular at work last week also.

Diaper cake:

Diaper cake and Valerie - she loved it!

my motivations wanes

so as most of you who read this blog have been subject in one way or another to the wrath of my baby shower skillz, you might somewhat understand my current situation. next saturday i am having a baby shower at my house for a friend. (valerie) another of valerie's friends is co-hosting, but somehow i got myself into this in somewhat of an unfair balance. brittney is in charge of games and i am in charge of cleaning my house, food, and decorations. when i originally agreed to it, i did not factor in a clean house to the situation. silly me. so for the last couple of weeks i've had a piece of computer paper filled up with things to be cleaned or otherwise finished before saturday. last weekend was the birthday weekend reprieve and this weekend was going to be the 'down to business' time. it's not working out very well. well, in fairness to me, i have accomplished a lot. it's just that there will be quite a few people over who i do not know very well and, as elizabeth puts it so well, i do not want them to suspect me anything other than the domestic godess i know they think i am. or, more realistically, i dont want them to walk into my house and think: "geesh, clearly she's not bothering to clean up now that her husband is gone! i will now resolve to think less of her and especially her poor husband since she is such a slob". and while these are highly unlikely sentiments, i fear them all the same. however, my fear of repulsion is not as great as my lack of motivation to get off my butt and move my blueberry pancake-filled belly around the house to clean.
on a fun note, i am attempting something for this baby shower that i have not done before for the others. i am going to make a diaper cake. i have not worked on it much but it is proving to be a bit of a head scratcher so far. we'll see how it turns out. i'll post pictures, as i'm sure everyone will be holding their breath in anticipation. i will say, smelling all those diapers as i roll them up to form the "cake" is suuuuure making me want a baby of my own to put in them. tentative day of arrival for the visitation of my husband followed by immediate enjoyment of his manliness is oct. 4th!! (dont be confused, there will not be any baby making until at least march, when he's back for good. all else is just practice. )

26 so far

so yesterday was my birthday and it was quite a good one! my overall impression of the cause for my joy and enjoyment in life right now is based largely on the love and support i am receiving from my friends and family. clearly, that is not an unusual occurence because i am definitely blessed with an amazing support system. but the last few days, well, few months actually, i have felt so much love and support. some days i am glad to have someone walking next to me, and some days i am desperately needing someone to hold me up and will me to put one foot in front of the other. (but those days are few and far between now) i am just so grateful for people who love me. and while my friends and family back home are and always will be so very important, my friends i have made here have really been bearing the brunt of my needs, as it will always be as a person married to the military.
a testament to faith: when placed in a potentially bad and extremely difficult situation, can you have faith that a net will be provided to you or do you allow yourself to stay in a funk and fill yourself with anger and self-pity? i am caught in the net, i am strong and i am determined to live life to the fullest and be happy. i wish for everyone to be tested. i wish for everyone to be pushed too hard and for you all to be forced against your will, kicking and screaming, to withdraw to the deepest part of yourself, the darkest corners of your self - then claw your way out. what better way to live and learn your limits? what better way to learn your limits then exceed them! i hope i spend my next 26 years being as alive if not more so than i am now.

Italy

the extremely short version of my journey to italy is as follows - new york had bad weather, 24 hour delay landing in venice, severe food poisoning, got friendly with airplane bathrooms, floor in JFK international airport is not good for sleeping.
first activity of the trip was a weekend camping trip to Faaker See, Austria with cameron and his girlfriend. here is a picture of me trying to push my brother into traffic at the Austrian border:

this is a picture of the Faaker See. we camped just off the water in tents, doing the whole cooking on a grill, not showering business. it was surprisingly a fantastic experience. the weather was perfect, except for some rain all saturday night. but even the rain was awesome. sunday morning i woke up early to take the hike to the bathroom in the rain and it was so quiet and peaceful that i took the opportunity to walk to the water and stand there among the mountains and trees and just appreciate the beauty of life. that whole weekend set the tone of "relaxation" for the entire trip. it was pretty amazing. as you can see, the hills were pretty alive with the sound of music, but it just didnt have that feel that i was imagining for "the pose".

here is cameron in all his glory watching his silly girlfriend go down the slide into the water. this was saturday before the rain so i didnt get in the water because it was pretty dreary. but sunday was perfect and we all got in and i pretended like i was athletic and joined in the toss of the volleyball in the water. then we all laid out to dry at our campsite. europeans are considerably more free with their bodies and so there were many men of all ages in speedos and women with varying degrees of cellulite in bikinis. it was very freeing and i felt compelled to tan like a european.

our next touristy adventure was a trip to a small town which is currently undergoing an archeological excavation of some ancient roman ruins. this is a picture taken in a burial ground. ancient romans were not allowed to bury their dead inside the city so this site used to be in a deserted place. now it lies in the middle of a quiet neighborhood surrounded by people's back yards. inside these stone things are remains and belongings of ancient romans.

this is me standing on what's left of a roman harbor. i'm roman on the inside.

and of course comes the stereotypical Venice picture atop the Grand Canal.

venice was way cool. when one flies into venice, you are entering on the mainland. the touristy part of venice that most people think of is actually a series of islands that you must enter either by train or boat. consequently, there are NO vehicles of any kind on the streets of this part of venice. the UPS driver - boat. the grocery delivery guy - boat. taxis - boat. you walk through the town and it is so quiet and it just makes you want to slow down your life and open yourself up to really take everything in and enjoy it. there are about 50 million ways to get somewhere and everything is very old but still beautiful and alive.
this is a picture in San Marco square. so basically that means that behind me is the cathedral of St. Mark. his remains are underneath it, and i saw many a saints partial remains inside it. it was pretty cool. i have a lot of other pictures of it inside (i snuck them) and closer up to see the detail, but you get the general idea. when a woman enters this and other churches like it, she must cover her shoulders. seriously, i paid 1 euro for a paper scarf that i had to wear while inside the church.

another draw to Venice is Murano Island. Murano is famous for hand-blown glass. so many amazing things are made out of glass in murano. some of it is pretty affordable (if it's small) but other things are quite pricy. i bought the small stuff and took pictures of the big stuff that i would buy if i were a millionare. this picture is a piece that is about a foot in diameter and is completely handmade. the picture does not in any way do it justice but you can kind of imagine how cool it is. it cost somewhere around 2500 euro, whichi s roughly $4000. i did not touch it.

so yes, my overall impression of italy is very good. more than anything, it was a very relaxing vacation - which was much needed. it was nice to get away from the stress that exists in this house and totally remove myself from it. not to mention the time spent with my brother was priceless. we had a great time and i'm very grateful for the opportunity to experience all of that.

my turn!

ok, so this time tomorrow i will be somewhere over the ocean in a very antsy way. i fly out of KCI at 9:53am tomorrow and end up in venice roughly 9:30 local time (2:30am) there. it is finally here! i am mostly ready to go - clothes are packed. i have not been as methodical and overly-0rganized about this adventure as i usually am if someone else is traveling with me. consequently, i am slightly anxious and plan to spend my evening furiously going up and down the stairs moving things around and making lists and cleaning. i checked the weather today for Pordenone, Italy -the town closest to Cameron's house. should be high 80's/low 90's the whole time.
anticipated highlights:
the beach - not even sure which beach, or where; but i think it will be the stretch of land on the north east coast of italy close to where it connects with the rest of europe. even if my beach experience totally sucks, just saying that will be totally cool anyway. besides, it can't suck! dad told me people there like to wear their birthday suits to the beach, so no matter how self conscious i feel in my tankini, i'm fairly certain i'll be looking juuust fine.
camping in Austria next weekend - sing with me: "the hills are alive with the sound of music!". yes elizabeth, i have already been practicing "the pose". unfortunately, i do not own a pinafore and so the picture will probably be taken in jeans and a tank top. we will camp at "faaker see". dad has been there, it is a glassy lake in a valley surrounded my mountains. yes please.
arnoldstein - the hometown of arnold schwartzenager. need i say more?
pasta - hello?
gelato - shya!

ok, i promise to have well over $1700 worth of fun - that way at least i am reimbursed for the plane ticket. HORAY!!!

killing time

so yes, saturdays are my lazy days anyway, but today was especially so because i woke up at 10ish, then wandered around the house for a bit listening to the rain outside, then did a pilates video. i didnt get much out of it because Beanie was determined to prance all over me and every time i would sit up, she would park behind me with a toy, making it quite an ordeal to have to lay down again during the exercises. so then i did some house cleaning for a couple of hours and right about the time i was going to clean MYSELF, the power went out. yes, this was 3pm. quite pathetic. so i got ahold of my parents because i was worried that perhaps i would have to venture to the spider-infested basement and hack my way through cobwebs to reset a breaker - something i not only didnt want to do, but dont know how. but mom convinced me to call the emergency maintenance line instead. low and behold, there was a post-wide power outage and there wasnt anything to be done about it. so i celebrated by taking a nap. sleeping from 5-6:30pm is not very productive, just so you know. so alas, although i will go to sleep soon regardless, i am not especially tired.
life right now is going alright i guess. weekends are pretty boring and especially lonely. although my house has never been so clean! i keep a running list of chores and get through a few of them a week. today i cleaned the window sills, wiped down the baseboards, and emptied my food shelf and wiped it down, then put the food back on it. yes, i am that bored. so if you ever come over during the next 8 months, be sure to check out my baseboards and window sills.
my God i miss my husband so much. i keep thinking over and over about what it will be like to pick him up from the airport in 3 months. i already have my outfit picked out. i can picture myself getting to the airport an hour early and then just sitting there shaking like a leaf with excitement and nervousness. what will it be like to spend 7 months alone and then have to share the bed again? what will it be like to get to call him on the phone? how will it feel to touch him? hug him? what will it be like to finally be with him, then have to go to wichita and share him with everyone else?