a rough week

well the journal thing seems to be sticking, it gives me a direction for my thoughts so i'm gonna just roll with that again.

out my window: sunny and hot.  although i'm the first one to remind people that we got significantly longer periods of cooler temps before summer set in this year, i am starting to long for fall.  our AC died the weekend of the 4th so cameron and i spent last week at the house of a very generous friend and the dogs were boarded.  thankfully, we have a home warranty so we only had to pay $300 instead of $4000 for a new AC.  but it was still a stressful and crazy week. 

what i'm wearing; the good ol' kahkis and a teal shirt that may or may not be a maternity shirt.  what?  it has rouching and is long in the torso!  :)  i figure as long as it doesn't say "baby on board", it's fair game.

the toddler: he is now working on running but still loses his balance with that.  he likes to be chased, which is a blast for both of us.  last week he played peek a boo for the first time and it was pretty funny, i got video.  (see!  there's a good side to having a smart phone with you at all times while you try to parent presently!... or so i tell myself)  he also randomly busts out words.  "yea" and "drink" and the occasional "hi!".  it's pretty great.  he is also waving again, which is nice because i think now he realises it to be a form of greeting or farewell instead of just something to do that is rediculously cute and will get you lots of attention.  he got some nice bumps and bruises over the weekend.  i experimented with a new method of church-going and it was wildly successfull, except for the fact that he smacked his forhead on the chair in front of us and got a bruise.  but other than taking him out briefly to calm down after the "injury", he was quiet and calm all through mass and i actually got to participate and listen!  victory!!!  fingers crossed that my leg corral will continue to keep him entertained as long as he can stand between the two chairs in front of us and play with the mass update leaflet.  the other "injury" was a bloody lip.  i'm not sure but i *think* he was trying to run down the hall to find me in the bedroom and he tripped and maybe ran into the return vent.  he had a tiny bit of blood on his  lip but calmed down quickly enough.  now he just has a little purple spot, maybe a blood blister?  i have no idea.  but it's on his bottom lip.  doesnt seem to bother him at all.

in the kitchen: someone at work brought in some cucumbers and zucchini yesterday so i brought a couple of each home.  last night i made something pretty awesome: whole wheat rotini mac and cheese with chicken and sauted zucchini on the side.  i brought it for lunch today too and i am looking forward to it.  i do love food.  not sure what i'll make the rest of the week.  i have some romaine to use up and some black beans so i will maybe make a taco salad for dinner tonight.  being away from home last week really threw off my cooking so i need to get organized this weekend.

crafting: havent been able to do any more painting on the projects started for charles.  supplies are expensive!  i would very much like to make some puppets for cameron, any words of wisdom? 

reading: same ol'.  i think when i finish HP i will read pride and prejudice again.  i had hoped to watch the 6 hr super nerd extravaganza this year, it's not really something easily watched when charles is around, but since i have no TV anymore (it died last month), that's out the window.  i could watch things on my laptop, but if i can't watch it at it's best, i'd rather not watch at all.

bringing me joy: having a cool house again!!!!!!  my goodness we are spoiled.  i also got to hear my husband's voice for a few minutes yesterday, that was an unexpected suprise.  free food.  i've had opportunities for a lot of free food lately through work and it makes me very happy.  last night i also ordered the family pictures we had taken at penneys while charles was home.  so although that will mean substantial cost in framing when they arrive, they are really great pictures and i am very happy that we had them done. 

thinking about: when i came home sunday to check on the dogs there was a 3' long black snake in my garage.  my #1 fear is snakes and so it would be an understatement to say that i 100% lost. my. mind.  thankfully, my neighbor was home and so he came over and raked it out, then, without any idea from either of us as to what the next step should be, he chopped it's creepy head off with a garden hoe.  i am STILL creeped out and am beyond paranoid that it has friends lurking somewhere else and they will come out and get me. 

 tony the snake killer

picture to share: so that i don't leave you with the equally creeped out feeling on the snake note, a family friend recently moved to the KC area and we were able to get together sunday (pre-snake incident) and so we wandered around oak park mall.  cameron was not pleased with being confined to the stroller for a couple of hours so i decided to treat him to a ride on the 2 story carosel.  i'm pretty sure i was more excited than he was, but it was still cute.

journal: ready for the long weekend

out my window: it's been beautiful this week, in the mid-upper 80s.  in july.  no complaints here!  my electric bill is thankful.
clothes: size 12 jeans.  thankyouverymuch!  they're super stretchy, but they still say size 12 on them so i'm going to wave that flag all day!  also a black "fancy" sleevless top and my black sandals.  i should probably paint my toenails or at the very least, remove the polish from 2 months ago, but that's just not going to happen.  i dont have plans, as of now, to try out for the mrs america pagent any time soon, so i think i'm ok with my nasty looking feet.
toddler: not so bad with the teething this week so that's good.  and he seems to be pretty much over the sickness too, also good.  he is starting to try and run but loses his balance easily but it's still pretty funny to watch.  overall though, he is just having a BLAST with his movement.  he will run around and around in the kitchen/dining area, come find me and give me a hug then take off again.  tomorrow my parents will be here through the weekend and they are pretty excited to see him since he was not walking the last time they were up and have only seen it on skype.
in the kitchen: hmmm... nothing lately, just using up food.  although my lunch today is the last of the leftovers so i will have to cook tonight.  maybe that pasta and sugar snap peas business.  i also made a pot of black beans from dry so i need to do some very bean-ish things in the next couple of days.  i anticipate some homemade ice cream, a dessert of some kind, and hopefully some good summer food this weekend.
crafting: made cameron a great 4th of july shirt last night with the help of some friends and their extra hands.  i will save a pic for the "picture to share" below because i dont have any other pictures to share.  :)  but i think it's cute.  i am going to try and do at least 1 or 2 shirts for him each year for one holiday or another and then eventually turn it all into a quilt, probably adding in the shirts for eventual kid #2.  that's the plan at least.  in the mean time, it makes for cool pictures.
reading: still harry potter goodness.  i'm on to the goblet of fire now.
bringing me joy: talked to my husband this weekend on skype and he got to see his little boy.  cameron loves to see him on the computer.  we are missing each other so so so very bad, and while that is in no way a joyful thing, it is a point of connection to hear him say that he misses me too.  it's been a rough week in that respect for us.  4 more months.
thinking about: passing 4 more months and keeping busy; my health and fitness progress: since december - 12 pounds lost, 7" off waist and 3" off hips, next month i will aim to pass a PT test and in september i'm running my first 5K.  i'm excited to get where i have wanted to be for about 10 years at least.  i am well on my way and it feels great!  also, i had a bit of a conversation with a friend last week who has also been trying to "get there" for a long time and it is infinitely frustrating that she gets in her own way.  there must come a time when you dont let yourself shut down and make excuses.  i finally got there.  if she were really serious, she'd get htere too instead of talking herself into a hole.  it really pisses me off when people do that. 
so ok, i could go on a whole separate rant about that stuff.  here's the pic of cameron's shirt:

and for a refersher, and because i happen to have the pic on my work computer, here's his other seasonal shirt from halloween:

journal: yep

out my window: summer is here and it's going to be 95 degrees all week, except in my office, where it's about 45 degrees all week.  if i wouldn't spontaneously combust when i went outside in the afternoon, i would happily wear pants and a wool sweater to work in the summer.  it's rediculous.  (first world problems, i know...) 
what i'm wearing: pants!!!  with a ruffly blue "work" tank top and a little short sweater that serves no purpose other than to cover my shoulders and be somewhat of an "accessory" to the outfit.  lately i am noticing that i am not in any way stylish.  my "business casual" workwear is all 6+ years old, so i imagine it was somewhat stylish then but i think not so much now.  plus, any of my "new" clothes are hand-me-downs from my mom who has lost so much weight that she is not a size 6 (don't mind me and my bitterness) and so she is giving me all of her clothes that are too big.  she informed me yesterday that she has 3 more bags of clothes to bring up but that thankfully, she has spared me the christmas overalls and sweaters.  close call! 
the toddler: he is decidedly walking now and having a great time.  i often worried and harbored an excessive amount of guilt for most of his first year because i was rarely able to read him books and sing songs, etc; but i have been making a conscious effort to work on that especially since we spend so little time together during the week.  so i am beyond pleased to report that both at home and at day care he will often be found digging through the books in search of one in particular and will sit down by himself and flip through the pages.  he is also very affectionate.  when picked up and snuggled, he has started to take his little hand and pat me on the back while hugging.  and he will snuggle his face into his stuffed animals (to which i will speak for him and say "i love you turtle" etc. so that he understand that to be a gesture of love.)  so showing love is very familiar to him and it all makes my heart so happy that he understands and does it often.  when going it alone, it's so easy to second guess every single decision (as i'm sure it is with two parents present as well!) and it's especially difficult to feel that your parenting is adequate and represents the love and parenting of both a mother and a father - so to see these things in him really almost brings me to tears because even though it often feels like i'm just barely treading water, i know that i'm doing some things right because he recognizes these important things.  lest you think it's all sunshine and roses though - he still has a major issue with throwing food/dishes/cups on the floor and that makes me want to kill people.  but we'll get there.
in the kitchen: my poor grill bit the dust (incidentally, so has the tv) while charles was home and that makes me sad because i love grilling in the summer.  so anyway, i've made another trip to the farmer's market and loaded up on some great stuff!  best deal of the day: a bowl of sugar snap peas for $2 - and when i asked for one, the lady gave me THREE bowls still for the same $2.  i am extatic.  she said they freeze well so i cleaned and trimed them up last night and will be making this and am very excited about it.  although so far the only ingredient i have are the peas... :)  i also got 8 bell peppers for $2 and have chopped them up and put them in the freezer for stuffed-pepper soup down the line.  made spinekopeta saturday and will be having salad and maybe some sort of chicken fajita sitaution with a leftover red pepper this week.  i need to cook some more of my dried black beans.  caprese salad with farmers market tomatoes too - life is good.
crafting: michelle g came to visit me this weekend and we had a blast!  she taught me how to paint with oils and i'm pretty sure i'm hooked!  i've always wanted to know how to paint and there is a particular painting i wanted to make for charles' man cave so we set to work.  what a wonderful experience!  so my mom, who used to oil paint, is going to dig around for any of her old supplies and i will need to buy some more myself to finish the work we started this weekend.  also, in visiting a classroom last week for work i saw the coolest quilt ever!  it was a very hungry catapillar quilt and it reminded me of my desire to quilt.  someday...  i also want to sew some puppets for cameron.  cause you know, i have lots of time and everything... 
reading: the old harry potter standby.  it comforts me.
bringing me joy: waiting all week to spend 2 1/2 days with my funny little boy.  skyping with charles and laughing with him about silly things.  getting healthy and slowly losing weight; also setting difficult goals - i have comitted to have my neighbor administer an army-standard PT test to me on my bday: 17 push ups in 2 minutes, 45 sit ups in 2 minutes, 2 mile run in less than 19:45 to pass.  once that is done, i will begin to prepare for my first 5k at the end of september with my church.  i am excited.
thinking about: i hate being sick.  cameron has been sick and now i am sick; aint nobody got time for that! 
no pictures - i put up a couple of us at the city market on fb that were great. 

well that was fun, now back to reality

well since my last post i obviously had a pretty good month!  i knew that charles was coming home about 3 weeks before it happened but was forbidden to say anything so that he could suprise his family.  not that i had much to tell.  literally until i heard the garage door open on a thursday night this is what i knew:
he was coming home sometime in this 2 day window, he would be off work for 30 days, i needed to drop his car off on post on X day (which meant that he would be driving himself home).
thats. it.
and so the 3 weeks of rediculously stressful cleaning and preparing went into full swing and the adventure began early in may. 
it was wonderful.  from the second i heard the garage door open all was right with the world.  there was no need to cry when i saw him because to put my arms around my husband is to be at home, everything was just exactly as though he had just had a really long day at work and was now back where he belongs.  i'm not going to say that every day was easy and fun-filled because it wasnt.  i didn't want to share him, although i did because he needed it and it was the right thing to do; and we didn't always get along.  i'm glad i didn't really think about it before he came home because it would have just been one more thing to stress about, but going from a single parent to now parenting together is NOT easy.  in fact it's kind of a nightmare.  i was prepared for just the opposite, so that was a bit of a wake up call.  but i'm told that this is perfectly normal, ours was just crammed into a very short period and that is the only thing i am not looking forward to dealing with when he returns.  obviously not the part about our son having a mom AND a dad, but the fact that i have to comprimise and share the decisions about when and how to discipline him and what to teach him, etc.  you know, parenting in a married home, that sort of thing: not easy.  who knew!  :)  but other than that, it was good. 
cameron took a couple weeks to really warm up to him.  he's a pretty easy going kid, so he wasn't running away screaming or anything, but he clearly didn't understand why this guy was all of a sudden in the house trying to love on him.  but we got there and he had a really good time with daddy.  daddy is a lot more fun than mommy i think and makes good faces and noises and doesn't discourage loud obnoxiouis outbursts in public places.  *sigh* 
although we were both thankful that his journey home didn't end up costing us anything, we still feel like he spent enough money while here to make up for the ticket!  there was a lot of going out to eat and some shopping and gas money and such.  but i can't think of any experience that i would take back.  after all, getting to spend 4 weeks out of a year in the same state/country/side of the world as your husband is something worth celebrating.  and even though it was the last month of school, my bosses were kind and generous enough to allow me to take off a week each on his first and last week here.  i am very lucky. 
and so here we are on the downhill side with just 4 1/2 months to go and i am feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the remainder of this beast of a year!  i am working four 10 hr days till late july so the summer is going quickly and by the time school starts in august, we'll have just 3 months to go!  and then we'll start our next big adventure: he was department ofthe army selected to be a recruiter.  he'll go to school for that in january for a couple of months and then will do a 3 yr stint.  so that's 3 yrs of a break from his current job field (definitely a good thing!) and 3 yrs of pretty much seeing him every day.  no complaints here!  we don't yet know WHERE he will be recruiting but our first choice is to stay where we are, for a number of reasons.  so fingers crossed that it works out that way.  HIS second choice is to move back home, mine is definitely not, so we'll see what happens.  i dont know when we'll know but there's nothing i can do about it either way so we're just waiting to see. 

sorry, i tried to add other pictures but it isn't working.  they're all on my FB anyway.  so here's one - i made sure he got to put cameron to bed as often as possible while he was home.  he kept saying "you know, you don't always have to save me the fun jobs...  i'm ok, you can do it too even though i'm here."  to which i say, "yes, actually i do."

journal: creeping along

out my window: yep, snow.  wtf.  it is annoying but at the same time, i am grateful for still being able to wear many disguisatory layers of clothing and not having to shave my legs yet.  you win some and you lose some i guess.

what i'm wearing: mom and dad are up and mom brought a huge bag full of clothes that are too big for her and so she is passing them to me.  let's all just take a second to join in the pathetic fact that i am fatter than my mom.  .............  thanks.  but on the bright side, i have a whole bunch of new clothes now.  although most ofthem are still too small for me, i am shrinking steadily and will fit into them eventually.  so today, i am wearing my "new" pink sweater and grey work pants.  what a novelty: a sweater that doesnt have a thousand little balls on it from our crappy washer and dryer!  horay!

the baby toddler: no walking yet, unless you count that awesome little crab walk thing he does or the fact that he can hold on to stuff and shuffle all over the place.  but he'll get htere soon.  he is cutting the big teeth and has been pretty miserable the last few days with some pretty high temps and majorly increased whininess.  he's also getting really good at the whole 'i'm going to flop  myself down onteh floor in front of you and cry' business, which is just plain funny.  especially when you turn your back or walk away and he will go crying after you so he can flop down in front of your new location.  he's very determined.  he's also been showing a bit of a mean streak lately which really does concern me, i'm not sure how to fix that other than repeatedly telling him to be nice and responding with love and patience (and an offended facial expression) and hoping that he will get the picture.  i do a lot of flying by the seat of my pants.  any ideas would be appreciated.  i do try to praise him when he is being nice and tell him that whatever he is doing is very nice, it's just hard to know if he really understands it at this point. 

in the kitchen: i FINALLY got to grill out sunday and made some really good steaks.  yesterday i made bbq meatballs and egg noodles with green beans.  tonight, spinach salad and later in the week some fish.  tomorrow i'm making a roast for a friend and her girls who come and visit every wednesday.  i like food.

crafting: will work on some baby shower invites tonight and have lots of sewing projects in the works for the shower and for the man cave.  i'll be making a manly quilt for charles, lots of black fabric.  :)  hopefully he doesn't think it's lame.

reading: finished the fannie flagg book and mom brought me a couple more.  there seem to be sooo many things to do other than read, but it's nice when i get the chance.  my boss recommended the books about "how to date your son/daughter" so at some point i would like to look into those. 

bringing me joy: my husband and all his mysterious awesomeness.  lots of progress on the house.  i spent over 6 hrs working in the yard saturday and i am still sore, but it was very satisfying to have done it all myself for once and it looks a million times better.  i moved some plants around and took out some others and pruned and spruced up.  hopefully they all survive!

thinking about: previously mentioned husband and how much i want to see his handsome face and just touch him and talk to him whenever i want.  so often with cameron there are times when i think 'man!  i wish i had charles here so WE could come up with a solution to this problem!', but at the same time, i worry about when that is a reality and how it may or may not frustrate me if we do not agree.  by the time he is home, i will have done a lot of disciplining solo and i fear that it will be a difficult transition for all of us.  but no need to borrow worry i guess. 

picture to share:
installation of the child locks on the cabinets last night - cameron was most helpful to grandpa by shutting all the cabinet doors repeatedly just as grandpa got the drill bit lined up.  he's so handy.  also - baby plaid pajama pants!!!!!!!!!!!! 

journal: it's april - YAY!!!

Out my window: it's been overcast for a couple of days, we had a storm sunday night and, unless it was really really quiet, we did not get the storm we were forcast for last night.  however they're saying that tonight will be a doozy and by thursday we may have snow.  eff that.  but i guess on the bright side, snow means continued pants-wearing and continued un-shaven leg-sporting.  so whatever.  i am still fighting off the stomach virus turned cold turned sinus infection which has now turned into allergies with all the moisture in the air.  no joke - 4 boxes of kleenex in just over a week.  if it wasn't so disgusting, i would totally invest in some handkerchiefs. 
Clothing myself in: grey pants, yellow shirt with ruffles (that's right lizabeth, i'm wearing yellow ruffles.  and yes, i DID get this shirt from my mom) :)  and a black cardigan.  as i dress in the mornings i often think that my "business casual attire" would greatly benefit from a necklace at least, but i can't yet rationalize that with a little boy who would want to yank on it, etc.  but i figure as long as i have put on enough clothes to at least cover all the important parts and i mostly match, that is a victory for me and i'll worry about accessories in a few months.
Around the house: this weekend cameron took a gloriously long nap and i was able to CLEAN!!!  who knew this could be so exciting!?  i swept and mopped, vacumed and dusted and finished all the laundry.  my house smelled like pine sol all day long and it made me entirely too happy.  sunday i used his nap time to mow the grass and even got to sit on the couch and watch a movie.  it's the little things.  last night we went to walmart for some groceries and for our weekly "social outing".
The baby: he is doing better at the CDC but still not 100% adjusted.  this is week 3, but at least he does not spend all evening crying and needing to be held.  he is still pretty clingy though, but reasonably so.  he is also discovering cabinets and drawers in the kitchen and "rearrange bottom cabinets" has been on my dry erase "to do" board all week but i honestly have no idea where to put those things that need to be put up, i.e. - the food processor.  maybe i can just make a box full of blades and leave the rest of the big stuff down where it is?  i dont know, i'm still working on a plan with that. 
he is not quite walking but can do so pretty well holding on to things.  i am doing amazingly well at just letting him be.  he's smooshed his fingers in drawers a couple of times and he cries and i distract him and he gets over it and we move on.  the only thing that makes me hover is when he stands up against a wall with his back to the kitchen chairs because he could really bonk his head on them pretty hard if he fell back at all.  but for the most part, i just let him explore and hope for the best.  although his interst in the trash can does cause me a bit of alarm, i think i've played it off pretty well so far.  no major incidents.  it helps that i keep him pretty well confined to the kitchen/dining room/hallway upstairs so there isnt a whole lot of mischief to find. 
In the kitchen: i did get to make my bierocks last thursday - thanks for the recipe lizabeth!  they were u-mazing.  i took the last of them back out of the freezer last night.  they also make the perfect baby food because they have lots of veggies in them.  i used turkey meat and added carrots and peas along with cabbage.  i bought the big can of evaporated milk so i have enough left for probably another double batch which i think i may make this week.  need to get more meat. 
i have been eating very well lately, lots of salads.  i made a quick salad a couple days ago by mixing some chick peas, corn, salsa and a little bit of thousand island dressing together and putting it over a bed of red lettuce with some green onion and a little bit of cheese on top.  i have been doing a lot with dried beans lately because it's so cheap and easy.  i'm all about finding cheap ways to do stuff and getting really good at using the food i already have and not wasting it.  this is a big goal of mine so i'm pleased with how well it usually goes.  usually.
it's been a bit of a challenge now that cameron is at the CDC because they feed him a very balanced meal 2x and a snack, but it's often something that i don't feed him.  but thankfully they give me a sheet every day of what they fed him and how much he ate so i will look at that and determine if he needs more veggies or fruit or milk, etc., in the evening.  he doesn't much like meat but loves cheese and fruits and veggies. 
Crafting: not much now but there is much on the horizon.  i'm going to make a simple blanket for charles' man cave reno.  i'm also hosting a baby shower and a graduation party at the end of may/beginning of june so i will maybe get out to a fabric store this weekend because i will be making stuff for those. 

Reading: i started that fannie flagg book that mom brought up but haven't finished it.  i do my reading before bed and lately i just want to go to bed.  plus, when i read before bed, pretty soon an hour has gone by and it's really late and then i dont get nearly enough sleep. 
Bringing me joy: got to talk to charles for almost 2 hrs friday!  we speak about once a week usually for just a few minutes, so that was pretty great.  good lord i miss that man!  5 months down and it's still going entirely too slow.  but i am so thankful for such a strong relationship that we have.  whether he is by my side or not, i know that we can conquer anything together because we are such a great team. 
cameron kisses: they sure are slobbery but also wonderful.  what a beautiful thing when a little person knows what affection is and chooses on his own to give it to you.  it's very gratifying.

Thinking about: crazy SOB in n. korea and the increasing tension in that area. 
how to keep a balance with taking care of my son, my husband and myself.  i lost 6 pounds this last month (stress?  illness?  good eating habits?  who knows...)  and have yet to figure out how to fit in exercise.  eating is good, i've got that under control, but exercising means sacrificing time with cameron or sleep and neither are worth it to me to sacrifice right now.  hopefully when the weather consistently improves and cameron is not so off in the evenings, we will go on walks or something.  but for now - i'm working on being at peace with the fact that my best is good enough and that i am ok.


Pictures to share - nope - i'm at work.  although i do have some good ones on the camera to load onto FB at some point.

journal: just another day

Out my window: a bit chilly this morning but the sun is coming out and it's supposed to be almost 70 by friday.  unfortunately i'll be inside at my desk all day with my back to the window, then driving down the turnpike all evening.  but still, that's nice weather.  on a related note, the time change can bite me.
Clothing myself in: the usual - kahki pants, a blue wrap top (disguisatory clothing is good) and a maroon cardigan.  this is bloaty week so i'm feeling a lot like a stuffed sausage, but since i sit behind a desk with 2 monitors in front of me and hardly any visitors, the only one who really would notice that is me.  although as the weather warms up and long cardigans are no longer acceptable, it is beginning to occur to me that i might have to shave my legs soon.  that sucks.
Around the house: preparing for cameron's 1st birthday party in wichita!  i put together 20 treat bags and then started getting RSVPs from people with lots of kids who arent coming.  miniature containers of play dough with monkey faces anyone?  oh well.  it will be nice regardless and hopefully cameron will have fun.  it was tough to find a time that wouldnt interfere with everyone's schedule when daddy could skype for it and the time chosen has come right smack in the middle of cameron's new nap time.  we'll see how it goes.  he's a really good boy and doens't get too crazy.  mostly i'm worried about an in law who might get testy if he isn't given his required attention, but cameron's comfort is my #1 priority.  avoiding making waves with others is much further down the list.
so anyway, around the house there are a lot of party supplies and the kitchen table is covered in baby book stuff.  for some odd reason i thought it would be nice to bring out his baby book for each birthday party which means that i have to get it updated in the next 2 days.  along with everything else.
The baby: is great.  he is now standing up almost all the time and will shuffle while holding on to things.  how cool would it be if he walked at or by his party this weekend?!  he is close.  he loves being able to explore everything and has been spending a lot of time playing in his room.  he has yet to discover that the kitchen cabinets all open and is very curious about the fridge and dishwasher.  but for the most part, he plays with his toys and hangs out by himself very well.  he will start at the CDC  on post on the 25th and i'm nervous about it.  it's not the same loving home he's had thus far and i'm worried about the things he might pick up (sickness and bad habits).  but it is the only realistic option we have so we're just charging ahead and hoping for the best.  i will go this afternoon for my orientation at the facility to meet his teachers and see his room, etc.  hopefully that will put me at ease.  this is definitely one of those times when i really wish charles were here though.  he is awesome at putting me to ease when i am worked up about something like this.  havent talked to him since thursday but hopefully i will soon.
In the kitchen: chili a couple days ago and goulash last night.  cameron is 100% done with pureed foods, the homemade baby food phase sure seems to have gone quickly!  so i am having to cook more to have things he can eat.  made spinekopeta last friday and he likes that.  we're having a hard time coming up with foods to help him get his iron in, so that was good.  tonight we'll give him some goulash.  i used veggie spiral pasta and of course, ground turkey, so hopefully he enjoys that.  he really likes peas and still sweet potatoes.  oh!  and mom made some "brownies" the other day.  i seem to be rubbing off on her with the healthy foods so she used applesauce instead of oil, half the chocolate chips, added flax seed and used less flour and added carrots.  it's more cakey but it's still a guilt-free alternative when you need a chocolate fix so i'm pretty excited about it.
in the next couple of days, we'll make banana bread and chocolate and yellow cupcakes for the bday party.  it is likely taht there will be leftover cake.  darn.
Crafting: birthday treat bags afforded me the opportunity to make a pinterest project with the monkey play dough, it turned out really cute.  and i also did some sewing last weekend for some new babies.  i have been able to repurpose the extra receiving blankets i got for cameron and turn them into taggies.  i like how they turned out.  can't wait to start quilting!  but that's probably at least 8 months down the line.
Reading: nothing now.
Bringing me joy: hearing my son call for me, seeing him crawl up to me and try to climb up my leg, chasing him down the hallway crawling after him while he laughs and laughs, sending my husband special gifts to make his day, getting a nice card from a dear friend, having my mom stay with me for a month and a half to babysit and knowing that she gets to see all the new things that cameron is doing right now, having a great relationship with my mother in law, thinking about the reunion with my husband (bittersweet, but still sweet)
Thinking about: wishing i could talk to my husband more, hoping there is little to no family drama this weekend at the party and that the wifi works so that charles can "be there", looking forward to being able to exercise more somehow when the weather is nicer

Pictures to share -

1 year ago tomorrow, at 1:31 in the morning, we welcomed our little boy.  i knew he would be perfect for us and was likely to be a good kid with a great personality but i never could have dreamed he would be as amazing as he is.  he is truly halarious and adventerous and so smart.  he is everything we could have wanted in a son and so much more.  he is my favorite person, the best of the two of us, and i am so excited to see who he becomes and where his life will take him.

oh and he's really really cute.  :)